gurabad | 037 » on and on we carry through the fear

[zephirin walks with a confident, easy stride quite unlike the quick, timid, squirrelly shuffle of francel's small feet. even so, francel finds it easy enough to keep up with the man. as professor and student enter the forgotten baguette together, a look of greedy hunger pulls francel's teeth against his lip — it is clearly meant for the assortment of fruit tarts and chocolate cakes that wait behind the glass counter, but he (unsuccessfully) wills his expression into neutrality as he shoots zephirin a curious look.]

What are you going to get?

[ An occasional treat alongside something more substantial does no harm, and Zephirin's gaze is amused without passing judgment, more successfully neutral than Francel's as he meets the boy's eyes and observes the poorly disguised excitement lingering there. Even so late in the day, the bakery smells inviting, of freshly baked cookies or muffins and the like. No doubt a good majority of the items on the racks before them call to Francel. ]

I was considering one of the sandwiches and a macaroon, but I'm open to your input. As for mine, I would recommend their cocoa.

[ One of the shop assistants appears behind the counter, a young man whose face isn't made for his uniform's cap or wearing his hair pulled back. He brightens upon catching sight of Zephirin. "Zephirin? You're not at your desk?" Smiling, he turns to Francel. "What can I do for you?" ]

[does the shop assistant know zephirin? francel's eyes flick towards the man's nametag, but the bakery's signature script is so loopy that he cannot make anything out beyond the first "j." taken off-guard, he stammers out the first thing that comes to mind.]

Er, could I have a slice of rolanberry cake — [godsdammit] — a-and an egg salad sandwich, please?

We'll have all of it here. Thank you, Janlenoux.

[ Janlenoux, arranging a generous slice of cake and Francel's requested sandwich on separate plates atop a tray before he reaches for another two plates to fill, glances at Zephirin. "You know you could have the same thing without paying for it anytime. If anything, you'd be the one doing me a favour." Looking from Zephirin to Francel, he seems to include the boy in his remark.

Evidently he doesn't expect an answer then and there, and he doesn't ask Zephirin for his order — either he overheard the earlier exchange or he has Zephirin's tastes memorized — and soon the tray is ready to carry to their seats. As if this is a date, Zephirin takes the liberty to pay for the lot. ]

[francel stammers out some half-hearted protest when he sees zephirin paying for his food (he is, ostensibly, wealthy and privileged, so he should, ostensibly, pay for himself), but it seems rude to interrupt janlenoux as he is processing the transaction. in the end, francel slinks to a table with zephirin, looking faintly sheepish. it occurs to him, also, that he did not order the cocoa zephirin recommended... but he simply forgot to do so.]

Um, I can pay you back in cash...

[ With their tray placed between them on the table, Zephirin takes a seat, but instead of starting on his food, he waits for Francel to sit down and recover from his apparent embarrassment. Around them, the bakery is quiet aside from the sounds of Janlenoux working behind the counter, his coworkers in the back room; it's the sort of place that sees its busiest hours in the morning and at lunchtime. ]

Should I expect it? This was my idea, I believe.

[ After all, had he not made his suggestion, Francel would have gone home for dinner. ]

But still... At least let me get your bill next time.

[looking somewhat sheepish, francel nevertheless reaches for his sandwich and his slice of cake, unwrapping the latter item from its plastic protections so he can — apparently — have his dessert before his dinner. he lowers his voice to a whisper, leans in.]

How do you know the cashier?

You've promised me cookies.

[ Calmly, even serenely, Zephirin takes up his knife and fork, and proceeds to cut his toasted cheese-and-tomato sandwich into neat, bite-sized pieces. Next time, however, implies more than their planned tutoring session — future slices of cake, perhaps.

Zephirin pauses with his fork poised above a piece of sandwich, eyes flicking up to rest on Francel's face. ]

We shared an apartment — the recipes I mentioned are his.

[he cuts his sandwiches...! somehow, that's appealing, and francel has to suppress a smile at the sight. francel, too, will eat some slippery sandwiches and buttery croissants with knife and fork — but in this case, his egg salad sandwich will stay in shape if he bites through it, and he has no plans to be dainty with his eating, at least not during this late lunch.

francel does take up a fork, however, to claim a bite of cake.]

Oh! So he was the former roommate you talked about? Did he move out to open this store?

No...

[ Zephirin's gaze travels toward Janlenoux, just out of earshot but better equipped to talk about himself, if not for his shift. Briefly looking their way, Janlenoux flashes them a smile. If he picks up on Francel's curiosity, it clearly doesn't bother him. ]

It was at a friend's behest, but I don't doubt that the location is more convenient.

[ Zephirin occupies himself with chewing and swallowing a few bites of his food, allowing Francel to do the same and steal a moment with Janlenoux up close when the man in question stops by their table to set down a cup of cocoa beside Zephirin's macaroon. ]

Oh! Thank you —

[so francel says — then he pretends to cough, embarrassed, as the cocoa clearly isn't for him. is he trying to speak for zephirin, now...? shyly, he lowers his gaze, avoiding all eye contact with janlenoux despite his apparent interest.]

[ Positioned midway between Francel and Zephirin, the steaming cup could be meant for either of them, and Zephirin's hands stay on his side of the table. Still chewing, he doesn't speak with his mouth full, his thanks restricted to a nod as Francel abruptly feigns his coughing fit and withdraws into himself.

"Are you alright?" Janlenoux eyes Francel's profile. "Let me get you some water..." ]

Alternatively, I would appreciate your help, Francel.

N-No, I'm fine — eh? My help? What can I do?

[francel's attention swivels this way and that as he responds to janlenoux's comment, and then zephirin's. the boy's ears seem turned upward in surprise; unconsciously, he has raised both of his hands near his chin, so he vaguely resembles a startled rabbit on its hind legs.]

[ Zephirin rests his knife against his plate to gesture at the cup of cocoa. ]

In the event that I don't finish in time. It's better warm.

[ Before he turns away, Janlenoux chuckles, not unkindly. To Francel, undaunted by the boy's shyness, he says, "It's probably thanks to you that Zephirin found some time to come here at all. Can I count on your help to convince him to keep it up?" ]

Huh? Ah — okay?!

[still more perplexed than before, francel presses his knuckles against his neck in sheer panic.]

I-I'll try!

[ Yesterday's anxious rabbit makes a return; Francel's flustered state seems to escalate to the point of slightly alarming distress. Janlenoux, who may have misread their impromptu excursion, excuses himself and backs off. Zephirin regards Francel for too long a while. ]

...My schedule isn't your responsibility — neither is my order.

[now feeling that he's thoroughly made a fool of himself, francel lowers his head into his hands, pressing his palms against his heated cheeks. he shakes his head.]

I — f-forgive me, I just... sometimes I panic when people talk to me...

[taking a deep breath, the boy manages to find his nerves again, and shakes his head once more to dispel the last of his strange fright.]

I'm sorry... I didn't mean to imply otherwise...

[ Zephirin's fork joins his knife; lacing his fingers together, Zephirin leaves the remainder of his sandwich waiting for now, quiet to let Francel speak uninterrupted. When the boy's voice trails off, he shakes his head, too. ]

Then we should apologize for cornering you. We meant no harm.

[ It's safe to assume that Janlenoux's request wasn't entirely serious, only a well-meaning dig at Zephirin's habits. ]

No! No, I understand that. I'll... I'll get used to it, I promise. It's just, when I meet new people, I get really nervous, so I try to find out everything I can about someone before I talk to someone...

[he feels, distinctly, that he is just digging himself into a deeper hole. desperately, he grasps for some sort of justification for his neuroses.]

— I was kidnapped once when I was little, so, um...

[good job francel. good job. that's definitely a great conversation starter, right there.]

[ That piece of information brings a frown to Zephirin's face. One wonders whether Francel's jokes about being abducted and held for ransom aren't a coping mechanism of some sort to work through his childhood trauma...

And it might explain why he was afraid even to knock on Zephirin's door the previous day, particularly if any searches didn't turn up enough about Zephirin to calm his anxieties. ]

I see... I'll keep it in mind.

[ In Janlenoux's absence, Zephirin takes it upon himself to offer Francel some reassurance. ]

It's unlikely that you've offended Janlenoux.

[please don't keep it in mind, francel wants to say, almost with tears in his eyes, but it's much too late to backtrack now, and he just has to live with this, with zephirin knowing that he was kidnapped once. (he was, for a few hours, when he was eleven. ostensibly it was to be held for ransom, but the way his kidnappers had treated him made him extremely uncomfortable, and he was old enough then to know about things like pedophiles.)]

Oh, no, I didn't think so. He seemed really nice. Though I feel weird that I asked all those questions about him in front of him...

Edited 2017-10-28 03:39 (UTC)

[ Little by little, Francel appears to calm down, albeit only from a small, frightened animal ready to bolt to a boy who probably prays for the ability to turn invisible. Zephirin elects not to treat him as though he is made of cracked glass — it would keep Francel steeped in his embarrassment and exacerbate it.

He could point out that Francel's questions were hardly the barrage that the boy imagines, but he merely picks his knife and fork back up. ]

There are worse questions to ask and remarks to make.

[ Janlenoux, in Zephirin's experience, attracts nosy glances and whispers at times. ]

Your interest was harmless, perhaps even flattering.

It was not my intent to be flattering...

[shaking his head, francel takes zephirin's cue and returns, also, to his cake. a mouthful of more cream than confection helps him steel his nerves, enough to be honest for a brief moment:]

I... I was only interested in knowing what kind of person you would choose to live with.

Not in knowing what kind of person would choose to live with me?

[ Subtly, humour touches the curve of Zephirin's mouth before he raises his fork and another bite of sandwich disappears between his lips. ]

Are you apartment hunting?

[ That isn't the reason behind Francel's curiosity, he thinks. ]

[suddenly, francel turns quite red indeed, and giggles nervously. zephirin has, somehow, neatly checkmated him, and made him laugh, at that. he isn't certain how he should respond.]

N-No, but... um... maybe I'm roommate-hunting?

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