000 » i write you in spite of years of silence

[haillenarte]

TFLN OVERFLOW.

for francel at haillenarte.

Comments

@subsidence

[haillenarte]

( continued from here! )



[ he thinks he knows the face... one brow raised past his silver bangs, small mouth either pursued even smaller, slightly ajar, or scowling... ]

yes?

[ what kind of question ... ]

[subsidence]

and you call this ineffectual

[haillenarte]

well... it is something
but 'tis neither lord commander nor azure dragoon
nor warrior of light, nor savior of ishgard...

neither scholar nor soldier nor skybuilder am i

@thelofty

[haillenarte]

( continued from here! )



no, i... don't think you understand...

[maybe he shouldn't have... outright lied to emmanellain if he was going to walk away with this impression of the situation...

he really shouldn't... blow down his whole house of cards like this, but francel is, despite his best efforts to be cruel at times, an inherently moral person, and he can't... let poor emmanellain continue thinking in this vein. particularly if it will result in sympathy that francel hasn't earned!]

you genuinely don't need to worry for me, lord emmanellain, i
...
the man in question was not my manservant but a... partner

[thelofty]

[ Oh. The bed beside which the mystery man was found praying is no longer a sickbed. That is news, and Emmanellain will grant that the exact details are very much none of his business. ]

i see
in that case, i'll simply congratulate you instead?
a good match, by the sound of it! what exemplary piety
you really are doing well for yourself

[haillenarte]

[ the mystery man indeed... francel weighs the pros and cons of telling emmanellain exactly who that mystery man was, but ultimately, he decides it. there can be truly no benefit to letting the famously loose-lipped youngest son of house fortemps know what business his kith and kin get up to when he's not around.

and yet... even this somehow rankles... ]

do you really think that i pray before an illicit tryst, lord emmanellain?
your reputation made me believe that you were more well versed in how these things go

@valhourdin

[haillenarte]

( continued from here! )



i don't know where it is
last vigil, past the bridges
no one comes here late at night
so it is a perfect place to languish in one's sorrows

[valhourdin]

[ The bridges and the ledges, too much sorrow and drink, and no one else about... Zephirin has a ways to walk, and it may be unwise to wander wheresoever he pleases, but he makes haste. While texting — he has earned that privilege instead of buying Estinien merch?! ]

I do recall it. Like as not, the knights at their posts will not disturb you, unless their intervention is required.

[haillenarte]

[francel, in the meantime, has made himself comfortable — or as near it as possible — upon the bench surrounding the fountains. he regrets his decisions. it would have at least been warmer inside if he had stayed at the party.]

'tis bitter cold
and i wish i were at home
tucked into my sheets
a warm bundle of nothing
i wish i were not plagued by this lonely heart
inside of this empty chest, hurtling toward a sour throat

@revolutionne

[haillenarte]

( continued from here! )



[if this were an in-person conversation, francel might at least have the wherewithal to laugh... oh, the things he has seen tonight! the memories that will not leave him!]

by the fury, if my position did not call for appearance at these fundraising galas, i would not leave haillenarte manor for another two moons...

if the viscount were a man but ten years younger, the sight of him might have been more welco

[...now, the young lord does realize that's perhaps not a remark he should be making to the vaunted lord speaker, but it's much too late: his thumb has already slipped on the send button.

fury —]

welcome
to the general populace
is what i meant

oof don't know what happened to my notif, sorry about that!

[revolutionne]

[ Oh.

Well. As delightful as it has been getting to know Francel, he did not expect to be privy to that sort of information. ]

Yes, of course. Youth does offer one some leniency in regards to such social missteps.

[ That is not what he meant at all and they both know it. ]

I am sure the general populace may recover from this as well.

no worries!! i was busy for a few days too

[haillenarte]

[ Internally chastising himself for his missteps, and also half-plotting a disappearance from the Holy See entirely (but what will happen to the restoration effort if he exiles himself out of shame?!), Francel does his best to... uh... make a recovery. Or at least, gracefully seize upon the escape route that Aymeric is so politely turning a blind eye to. ]

well... that will do

[ Fury, what is he even saying? He doesn't know what he's saying. This is such a — ]

i am not too addled, so i can make it to haillenarte manor on my own, i should think

i will see you at the next gala, i suppose? hopefully not one so... colorful as this one.

@subsidence

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

[It's equally surprising to Francel that it worked. He has the sort of melancholic temperament that leads him to be cyclically upset; it is rare that he is ever plucked out of a spiral. And yet Estinien has done it. He of the notoriously prickly personality and even more prickly armor.]

whatever do you mean by that?

that we have different ideas of pride?

[subsidence]

aye that
though it is a reasonable disparity
we were raised different
taught different

[He thinks, and then declares his great conclusion:]

we are simply different men

[Which may seem pithy. Or it may not, as to be different does not mean they don't have the same footing--manhood, all that. He must be inviting Francel somewhere with him. Somewhere vague, and to do nothing but stand still and be--but somewhere.]

@thelofty

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

that's all you have to say on this?

and here i meant to give you so much more that you could gossip about, old boy

whatever happened to the man who could be relied upon to know all the world's secrets?

[thelofty]

wait
do you mean to say that you invite it

truly?

[ IN THAT CASE!!! ]

well, we can't have you thinking that man dead and gone, buried beneath his many most respectable duties, can we

artoirel's secrets, then!
the name of every candidate to vie for his hand all lined up to pine for him until he returns, perhaps?
alas, lady timinne must content herself with her fantasies alone

@revolutionne

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

not in so many words, no...

but the sorts of men that command attention from ishgard's populace — men like yourself, and count artoirel, and the late ser zephirin... i am not fashioned in the mold of such men

i have heard it tell that ser adelphel was renowned for his great beauty, that he had a boyish youth to him — well, we were born in the same year — but i never had cause to meet him, and i am neither a skilled knight nor a particularly excellent dancer

it simply seems to me that i have little to offer someone as a lover

thus... i would never assume that anyone would want such things of me

[revolutionne]

As I have said in the past, you do not give yourself the credit that you have earned.

You are most assuredly a fine young man, Lord Francel. Yet more than asturere titles and social standings, what I have admire the most is your dedication to your duties and your love of the people. There are several that could learn from your example. I value good intentions and the concerted actions that follow them over aught else.

...But if I may be frank, you need not worry so about appearances. The mold you have been fashioned from is a handsome one.

@subsidence

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

?

do you want to keep the sack?

if you would like to, then you may

[subsidence]

thank you

[There it is, there it is. The window. The sparsest and least painful bramble to tear through.]

for that and
all of it

[How to put this...]

it was hard for me to imagine you doing it

[No, no.]

not imagine
envision

@thelofty

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

indeed, i was enjoying myself
up until this headache set in
my humors, lord emmanellain — they are poorly aligned

is count artoirel still in that mood?
'twas... good, to see him so pleased
i had forgotten the sight of a smile on him

@subsidence

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

'tis so very bewildering...
i mean, what am i to do with some girl's leg?
it is not as though these ul'dahns consummate their pleasures upon the tavern floors
so what is the value of idle titillation?
i'd sooner have a quiet meal with a valorous knight than see him...
gyrating

speaking of which, when is our next?

[subsidence]

i am the wrong man to ask
a bare leg such as that is a bloody waste of my time at best

[And then, well.]

when is our next................

[All those ellipses are like a lancer's contemplation before a risky jump--not the confidence of a seasoned dragoon who could clear any gap with ease. Estinien, a commitment of time, and anyone looking forward to it? It gives him an itch like having rolled in the wrong weeds.]

@upspring

[haillenarte]

( before overflow! )

[Francel, for his part, is fully dressed. He did not bring a towel, or a satchel, or anything to eat. He certainly did not mean to avail himself of the baths; he only meant to meet Estinien here, and chose this location for the dragoon's own convenience, knowing that the man has occasionally made use of the baths and therefore, crucially, knows where they are.

It is a mark of Francel's sterling reputation that most people in Ishgard accepted that the outdoor baths were meant primarily for the use of recuperating soldiers and those injured in the war. Some few clergymen more disposed to conservatism hemmed and hawed and griped and grouched about things like nudity and degradation of public morals, but Francel, in his wide-eyed way, had quoted the Enchiridion back to them and argued the issue in the House of Lords like a true man-of-law. He'd met them point-for-point and come out the champion, and in the end, he'd had his way and looked all the purer of spirit for it.

He is not the man that he once was. Time has given him distance, and he is much stronger of spirit than he used to be. And he still loves Haurchefant — will surely always love him, both for his memory and for the things he has done — but the memory of his silver-haired savior does not haunt him in the way that it once did. He is no longer the sort of boy who pined hopelessly for a man who would never turn to see him, who loved the idea of love so deeply that he would have once died for it. Love is a different sort of thing to him now.

So anyway, all of this is just to say —

— that, tragically, some things never change, and the moment Francel turns to look at Estinien — earnest, hopeful, vaguely innocent, like a squirrel expecting to be presented with a bag of nuts (because Estinien promised him a snack, and he likes snacks) — there's just. Just the barest shift. Francel turns to look, and then he looks, and then... then he wishes he picked anywhere but the baths to meet his wayward, sort-of, almost-friend.]

Oh.

[The worst thing is that he knows at once that he's being silly. It's only Estinien, he chides himself. He keeps his tongue curled at the back of his throat so it can't betray him. He's learned to do that, too.]

Yes... so I am.

[Recovery. Recovery. He's had several full conversations with Aymeric by now! He's managed to look the man in the eye! How is he going to let himself be defeated by Ser Estinien? A man so common and coarse —]

And so you are. You look well.

[upspring]

[For a blessing, Estinien is awkward, and Francel's greeting is only as stilted as any Estinien might make himself. He regards Francel as he always has: as though Francel is standing too close, but also as though he is very, very far away, so far that Estinien must focus intensely to keep sight of him.

And much of Estinien is the same--but some things are a little different, too.] Aye, I feel well enough. [Terse, non-committal, but more small-talk than he's otherwise known for sharing.

Still, that's enough of that.] You chose a good point of rendezvous. Though I notice you don't seem keen for the bath yourself. [In other words: You're dressed. But now he's reaching into his satchel.] On the way, I realized that Ishgard's trade with other nations had grown greater than I knew... I ought to have checked, mayhap, to see if some merchant has already been selling these by the barrel. But I might be fortunate, and you may have never had one. ["One" being the fruit he brings out now. It's large and colored like sunset: an amra.

He holds it out.]

Have you?

[Estinien is (earnest, hopeful, vaguely innocent) as forthright and faraway as ever when he asks it.]