francel de haillenarte (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
haillenarte) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
gurabad2020-09-30 10:27 pm
haillenarte) wrote in gurabad2020-09-30 10:27 pm
Entry tags:
( continued from here! )
[ he thinks he knows the face... one brow raised past his silver bangs, small mouth either pursued even smaller, slightly ajar, or scowling... ]
yes?
[ what kind of question ... ]
[ he thinks he knows the face... one brow raised past his silver bangs, small mouth either pursued even smaller, slightly ajar, or scowling... ]
yes?
[ what kind of question ... ]
( continued from here! )
no, i... don't think you understand...
[maybe he shouldn't have... outright lied to emmanellain if he was going to walk away with this impression of the situation...
he really shouldn't... blow down his whole house of cards like this, but francel is, despite his best efforts to be cruel at times, an inherently moral person, and he can't... let poor emmanellain continue thinking in this vein. particularly if it will result in sympathy that francel hasn't earned!]
you genuinely don't need to worry for me, lord emmanellain, i
...
the man in question was not my manservant but a... partner
no, i... don't think you understand...
[maybe he shouldn't have... outright lied to emmanellain if he was going to walk away with this impression of the situation...
he really shouldn't... blow down his whole house of cards like this, but francel is, despite his best efforts to be cruel at times, an inherently moral person, and he can't... let poor emmanellain continue thinking in this vein. particularly if it will result in sympathy that francel hasn't earned!]
you genuinely don't need to worry for me, lord emmanellain, i
...
the man in question was not my manservant but a... partner
( continued from here! )
i don't know where it is
last vigil, past the bridges
no one comes here late at night
so it is a perfect place to languish in one's sorrows
i don't know where it is
last vigil, past the bridges
no one comes here late at night
so it is a perfect place to languish in one's sorrows
Edited 2020-10-04 01:20 (UTC)
well... it is something
but 'tis neither lord commander nor azure dragoon
nor warrior of light, nor savior of ishgard...
neither scholar nor soldier nor skybuilder am i
but 'tis neither lord commander nor azure dragoon
nor warrior of light, nor savior of ishgard...
neither scholar nor soldier nor skybuilder am i
i'm not any of those things either
yet i reckon we are both men enough
yet i reckon we are both men enough
( continued from here! )
[if this were an in-person conversation, francel might at least have the wherewithal to laugh... oh, the things he has seen tonight! the memories that will not leave him!]
by the fury, if my position did not call for appearance at these fundraising galas, i would not leave haillenarte manor for another two moons...
if the viscount were a man but ten years younger, the sight of him might have been more welco
[...now, the young lord does realize that's perhaps not a remark he should be making to the vaunted lord speaker, but it's much too late: his thumb has already slipped on the send button.
fury —]
welcome
to the general populace
is what i meant
[if this were an in-person conversation, francel might at least have the wherewithal to laugh... oh, the things he has seen tonight! the memories that will not leave him!]
by the fury, if my position did not call for appearance at these fundraising galas, i would not leave haillenarte manor for another two moons...
if the viscount were a man but ten years younger, the sight of him might have been more welco
[...now, the young lord does realize that's perhaps not a remark he should be making to the vaunted lord speaker, but it's much too late: his thumb has already slipped on the send button.
fury —]
welcome
to the general populace
is what i meant
[ Oh. The bed beside which the mystery man was found praying is no longer a sickbed. That is news, and Emmanellain will grant that the exact details are very much none of his business. ]
i see
in that case, i'll simply congratulate you instead?
a good match, by the sound of it! what exemplary piety
you really are doing well for yourself
i see
in that case, i'll simply congratulate you instead?
a good match, by the sound of it! what exemplary piety
you really are doing well for yourself
[ the mystery man indeed... francel weighs the pros and cons of telling emmanellain exactly who that mystery man was, but ultimately, he decides it. there can be truly no benefit to letting the famously loose-lipped youngest son of house fortemps know what business his kith and kin get up to when he's not around.
and yet... even this somehow rankles... ]
do you really think that i pray before an illicit tryst, lord emmanellain?
your reputation made me believe that you were more well versed in how these things go
and yet... even this somehow rankles... ]
do you really think that i pray before an illicit tryst, lord emmanellain?
your reputation made me believe that you were more well versed in how these things go
Edited 2020-10-04 01:57 (UTC)
[are we really, francel wants to ask. no, he no longer thinks of himself as a mere boy — he knows he no longer deserves the right to languish upon his laurels and wait for destiny to claim him, a silver knight to save him — but to say that he and estinien are both men enough seems somehow laughable.
estinien was the azure dragoon, once. he was a soldier, once. but francel does not say such things now, because estinien has renounced those titles, and it would be cruel to deny him his right to cast off past identities and embrace new ones.
and yet, even so — ]
you would call me man enough, then?
bow-worthy?
a leader of others?
it does not feel like enough
but i don't know that i know what enough feels like
estinien was the azure dragoon, once. he was a soldier, once. but francel does not say such things now, because estinien has renounced those titles, and it would be cruel to deny him his right to cast off past identities and embrace new ones.
and yet, even so — ]
you would call me man enough, then?
bow-worthy?
a leader of others?
it does not feel like enough
but i don't know that i know what enough feels like
[ The bridges and the ledges, too much sorrow and drink, and no one else about... Zephirin has a ways to walk, and it may be unwise to wander wheresoever he pleases, but he makes haste. While texting — he has earned that privilege instead of buying Estinien merch?! ]
I do recall it. Like as not, the knights at their posts will not disturb you, unless their intervention is required.
I do recall it. Like as not, the knights at their posts will not disturb you, unless their intervention is required.
[His foot catches. His heel, just over the edge of the damnable precipice.]
nor i
nor do i know
[He's able to right himself just in time. For now, for now. Balance isn't kind or easy. It wants desperately to escape him.]
it is your prerogative to disregard what i say if you wish
you need not call yourself by what i call you
i am one person with few words
they amount to what you say they do
nor i
nor do i know
[He's able to right himself just in time. For now, for now. Balance isn't kind or easy. It wants desperately to escape him.]
it is your prerogative to disregard what i say if you wish
you need not call yourself by what i call you
i am one person with few words
they amount to what you say they do
[francel, in the meantime, has made himself comfortable — or as near it as possible — upon the bench surrounding the fountains. he regrets his decisions. it would have at least been warmer inside if he had stayed at the party.]
'tis bitter cold
and i wish i were at home
tucked into my sheets
a warm bundle of nothing
i wish i were not plagued by this lonely heart
inside of this empty chest, hurtling toward a sour throat
'tis bitter cold
and i wish i were at home
tucked into my sheets
a warm bundle of nothing
i wish i were not plagued by this lonely heart
inside of this empty chest, hurtling toward a sour throat
[ They exchange only written lines, but Emmanellain can hear the exasperation... Completely unwarranted (this time), in his humble opinion. ]
it was YOUR reputation that made me believe that you might be pleased to find your nameless paramour on his knees to pray
not only to
you know
it was YOUR reputation that made me believe that you might be pleased to find your nameless paramour on his knees to pray
not only to
you know
[ It is indeed bitter cold, as ever — though for a mercy, the night air is calm enough, and Ishgard's streets are not wholly shrouded in white. Here are the walkways, the steps, the passages, and there is the fountain ahead. There are the lit manor windows in the distance, too. ]
If I may, is your home not nearby, my lord?
[ But Lord Francel chose to spend years outside the city, Zephirin knows. As for the young lord's heart, there is no ready remedy for that. ]
If I may, is your home not nearby, my lord?
[ But Lord Francel chose to spend years outside the city, Zephirin knows. As for the young lord's heart, there is no ready remedy for that. ]
[for a long time now, francel hasn't slipped. not long ago, he felt as though every day was a cycle of free-falling, of having the air choked out from his lungs by the relentless wind, of never quite managing to scramble for purchase against the merciless cliffs. but he's been steady, for a time. he can say things now, and mean them, and not have the world pulled out from beneath his feet when things don't turn out the way he's dreamed. ]
indeed, you are one person
and i am another
i suppose we cannot be expected to know all that there is to know in this world
and yet, at times
the esteem of just one more person
sometimes that alone feels like enough
indeed, you are one person
and i am another
i suppose we cannot be expected to know all that there is to know in this world
and yet, at times
the esteem of just one more person
sometimes that alone feels like enough
i fear the tales of my faith are greatly exaggerated
which is not to say that i am not pious, but i really must say that prayer before earthly fulfillment is a bit much even for me
which is not to say that i am not pious, but i really must say that prayer before earthly fulfillment is a bit much even for me
[what is home, really? after all this time, what is it that his heart truly longs for? he doesn't miss skyfire locks, in truth. he doesn't miss the empty halls of haillenarte manor, either. he misses — he misses things beyond his reach.]
mayhap my home yet sits on that hill past haldrath's march
but then, who knows
it was so dreadfully lonely by the time i left it, too
the manor is past the bridge
and i do not wish to walk it alone
[even with his judgment so acutely impaired, it seems, francel still retains enough of his wits about him to know that he ought not be tempted by a free fall in this state.]
mayhap my home yet sits on that hill past haldrath's march
but then, who knows
it was so dreadfully lonely by the time i left it, too
the manor is past the bridge
and i do not wish to walk it alone
[even with his judgment so acutely impaired, it seems, francel still retains enough of his wits about him to know that he ought not be tempted by a free fall in this state.]
[ That, at least, is encouraging while Zephirin remains too far away. It is a moment's awareness, a tether, and an indication that Lord Francel will not leave his seat by the fountain. A drop into nothing, to be rid of everything, may beckon in the dark, where hope is extinguished and little binds a man to the world. ]
You need not walk it alone.
[ In truth, the manor's precise location is of lesser import than the thoughts that led Francel to linger out here at this hour. Nearing the fountain, Zephirin makes for the solitary figure perched upon his cold bench, glancing the young lord over as he comes into view. ]
...Lord Francel?
You need not walk it alone.
[ In truth, the manor's precise location is of lesser import than the thoughts that led Francel to linger out here at this hour. Nearing the fountain, Zephirin makes for the solitary figure perched upon his cold bench, glancing the young lord over as he comes into view. ]
...Lord Francel?
could charm a person susceptible to being charmed with that sort of thing
i've not the sentimental streak to accommodate it
but i can recognize it for what it is
[He hasn't the sentiment. He's saying that because he's certain of it. That he lacks sentiment means that Francel's words pose him no risk, of course--of course--and thus he doesn't need to turn tail and flee.]
i've not the sentimental streak to accommodate it
but i can recognize it for what it is
[He hasn't the sentiment. He's saying that because he's certain of it. That he lacks sentiment means that Francel's words pose him no risk, of course--of course--and thus he doesn't need to turn tail and flee.]
Edited (love 2 use the same words again and again and again. it's fine) 2020-10-05 23:05 (UTC)
ha!
if it were that easy i would not now be alone
but i thank you, estinien
less sentimentally, i enjoy your counsel.
if it were that easy i would not now be alone
but i thank you, estinien
less sentimentally, i enjoy your counsel.
[ right... this conversation is getting a little too intimate for two men who are not well-acquainted, and with not much trust between them, and... with a brother in the mix. best to deflect and detract. ]
well, i was concerned that he might regret his decision, but... never you mind. it was all for the best in the end.
how goes your affairs at camp dragonhead?
well, i was concerned that he might regret his decision, but... never you mind. it was all for the best in the end.
how goes your affairs at camp dragonhead?
Ser Zephirin...
[ francel stirs as if from a reverie. he does not look visibly drunk, but there is a dazed quality to the way he looks, almost unseeing, at zephirin's face against the starlit sky. he lifts his palm, not in greeting, but to reach out, somehow blind and helpless as a newborn kitten. perhaps he wants zephirin to take his hand. ]
Come, sit. I am so alone, and so in need of company.
[ it is not snowing, but it is bitter cold, and the young lord seems lightly dressed. he is missing his hat. it may be better for his well-being if zephirin ignores the demands of his drink-addled mind... ]
[ francel stirs as if from a reverie. he does not look visibly drunk, but there is a dazed quality to the way he looks, almost unseeing, at zephirin's face against the starlit sky. he lifts his palm, not in greeting, but to reach out, somehow blind and helpless as a newborn kitten. perhaps he wants zephirin to take his hand. ]
Come, sit. I am so alone, and so in need of company.
[ it is not snowing, but it is bitter cold, and the young lord seems lightly dressed. he is missing his hat. it may be better for his well-being if zephirin ignores the demands of his drink-addled mind... ]
[ Zephirin does take Francel's outstretched hand, as one might for a dance, or else to receive of a priest's blessing, but he merely holds it between his own palms for some moments — the night's chill clings to Francel's fingers. Then he guides that hand to Francel's lap, and releases it there. Unbuttoning his craftsman's coat, he sheds the garment to offer it to the young lord, though it is no substitute for a thick blanket or a warm fire. ]
Might we walk instead? 'Tis bitter cold, as you have said.
Might we walk instead? 'Tis bitter cold, as you have said.
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