081 » i remember less and less and mostly things that i regret

[sforzi]

[it goes like this:

on the eve of the wedding between the marquess cristiano harwood and the baroness josephine donadieu, things did not go as planned. the viscount elios durchdenwald abruptly collapsed during the reception, suffering some sort of stroke or heart attack. upon subsequent investigation, it was discovered that the wine glass in the man's hand had been poisoned — raising, of course, several questions.

who poisoned the viscount? was he the intended target of the attack? and how did the poison make its way into the wedding banquet when all guests were screened for dangerous materials?

now, the officers working the case are just ordinary men and women — the nobles are always trying to kill each other over one thing or another, so this isn't something that warrants the attention of the emperor or britannia's special forces. all the same, the ordinary officers uncover many things very quickly. for one thing, the viscount survived, but barely, and he is recovering in the hospital now. for another thing, the viscount was involved in a great many unspeakable acts, such as the rather barbaric treatment of the numbers in his jurisdiction — and while that's not technically illegal, the drug and sexual trafficking offenses he has committed and which have now been brought to light will certainly have to be prosecuted.

case closed, some might say. the poisoning of viscount durchdenwald was not a matter which would warrant the attention of earl kanon maldini, at first. he had better things to do — other issues to investigate, other duties which would better serve the needs of the prince to whom he is sworn. but then, as the official investigation floundered and its many leads grew cold, came the thought:

members of the royal family are not subject to the same screening procedures as guests.]

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[sforzi]

[this also isn't the first time that the crimes of some high-ranking member of the britannian nobility have been exposed in recent months. a few weeks ago, the earl kalem oakskiers was publicly denounced after his decades-long military embezzlement scheme was discovered by a young analyst who could not explain how he had accidentally been granted access to the pertinent financial records. other incidents were more subtle: the baron mikhail helner was shot to death by a jilted lover, a number from area 3 in his employ, in what seemed to be a purely personal conflict — but during questioning, none of the household servants could divulge exactly where the gun had come from, save that it had simply appeared in the servants' quarters sometime after a royal function was held at the helner estate.

something is rotten in the state of denmark, kanon concluded. and, after presenting some research to schneizel and discussing the matter, they both agreed: only one of britannia's many, many princes would have reason to desire vigilante justice.

schneizel's favorite younger brother, prince lelouch vi britannia, eleventh prince and seventeenth in line for the throne.

well.

admittedly, schneizel has a lot of favorites anyway — kanon himself presumably included, though he's never asked.

regardless, a private investigation is easy enough to arrange. as it turns out, the head maidservant at the aries imperial villa, where lelouch resides with his sister nunnally, has just submitted an application for bereavement leave. thus, kanon can slip in and be her substitute for a few weeks or months, even if it does mean that his duties as schneizel's aide-de-camp will be officially put on hold for a time (a matter that is more de jure than de facto, considering that kanon belongs to schneizel off-the-clock anyway).

anyway.

the point of all of this is that when lelouch exits his palatial quarters in the morning, he will not be greeted by the familiar face of the older woman who has been his head maidservant for at least the past few years. instead, he will be greeted by the unusually pretty man he might recognize as his older brother's assistant, as kanon smiles demurely and bows slightly:]

Good morning, Your Highness.

[ludicrous]

[ In cases of hypovolemic shock— both literal and the type instigated by targeting select members of the aristocracy with the efficacy of treating an ever-worsening infection— a steady hand is necessary to avoid further hemorrhaging.

Therefore, these charades. Therefore, all of these ruses and the artifice that Lelouch makes of himself, dedicated to form rather than function. Better to be seen as hopelessly ignorant and overly concerned with chess and books and all the entitlement that's been heaped upon him from up on the pedestal known as hierarchy from birth than magnanimous. There is no way, from up in his cage, for him to understand the common people: to decry his station or his circumstances is to decry his privilege, and if he'd sought to disobey his father in the wake of his mother's death, he would have abdicated his place in this closed world.

But hatred is an endless, overfilling cup, and Lelouch pours the contents in himself.

Like so, with Viscount Durchdenwalk: the only oversight was one of timing— he should've fallen ill much later in the company of his wife, whose volatile streak was uncurbed with her husband's other mistresses as it was with matters of petty greed and grand larceny. Rather than the trappings of a political scandal, he'd prefer the crime to be one of infidelity. (To kill two birds with one stone.)

Mistakes can be accounted for, regardless. The corrupt protect the corrupt. Those overcome with a desire for power never fail to seek it.

So his engagement with Milly Ashford has taught him two things: love isn't a necessary aspect of a relationship as long as there's a healthy amount of communication involved, and far less people bat an eye when acting upon his fianceé's directives than assuming his own. (Such as urging her to grab his hand so they can leave the reception of any given evening party in a moment of heated passion. Later on, when he's peeling her out of her dress, her hand never leaves his face, which is so given over to weeping or laughter when they're alone. Derision his vice of choice, and tolerance hers.)

Perhaps, then, is Lelouch epitomized by the kind of hunger that's gone unchecked since the tender age of ten, holding his newly-blinded sister's hand so Nunnally wouldn't cry upon learning she'd never walk again. Cornelia empathizes greatly— of all his siblings, she was the one closest to his mother, perhaps closer than he ever was, even as Lady Marianne's firstborn. Euphy forgives him of every trespass, his inhospitable ego and his sheer unwillingness to reconcile with his father, whom he hasn't spoken to for several years now. And even Clovis bears no grudge for every loss in their board games, patient and obliging despite his sibling's short fuse of a temper.

But it's Schneizel— who wants for nothing, as if he's divine, as if it's heaven who directs his will— who understands him far too much.

Consequently, Lelouch can't be all that surprised that a blade's been turned on him, that he should find his older brother's most beloved sword— Kanon Maldini, both his right-hand man and suspected paramour, the ever-present shadow in every one of their chess matches— waiting for him instead of Alister's replacement that morning upon swinging the doors to his private quarters open.

Briefly, he's taken aback. He is. Lelouch's got a flare for theatrics but every move he makes subsists on calculation and planning. After a moment, however, he controls his shock as he controls his nerves, tooling his expression back into something vaguely cordial. Instead of feigning ignorance (he's perhaps shared all of one conversation in his entire life with his brother's aide), he steps forward, assuming a level of familiarity. ]

Oh. What a surprise. Good morning, Earl Maldini. Pardon my rudeness. I wasn't expecting company so early in the day. [ Actually, it's 9AM already. Too late for breakfast, too early for lunch. Hence, brunch. ] To what do I owe this honor?

[ If all else fails, best to assume the guise of sheer, utter ineptitude, as if he'd overlook a last-minute change in staff. This is Schneizel's work, but Lelouch won't be outdone. ]

[sforzi]

[schneizel and kanon have few rules between them — few rules in their relationship at all, much as it may seem otherwise to outward eyes — but one line that kanon has always drawn for himself is to never involve himself in schneizel's family matters. how kanon may personally feel about princess euphemia, or prince clovis, or princess cornelia is irrelevant. at family functions, kanon is always present, but he keeps to the sidelines with the other royal aides, and he doesn't speak — not to lelouch or anyone else.

(because kanon knows the truth: schneizel loves his family, but only so far as he loves roses, and sweets, and chilled wine on a summer evening. his brothers and sisters are little more than diversions, temporary amusements. the truth is that they aren't important, not in the ways that matter, and kanon doesn't need to concern himself with things that don't really matter.)

as such, kanon has never had more than pleasant, polite snatches of conversation with prince lelouch. he knows enough about the boy to draw several conclusions, however; he's watched lelouch during his debates and chess matches with schneizel, and he's noticed several things.

one: lelouch is much more intelligent than he ordinarily lets on, and kanon, who has forgotten most of what he learned about chess gambits, and military strategy, and socrates, and nietzche, isn't going to beat him in a battle of wits.

two: lelouch is an eighteen-year-old boy, and like all eighteen-year-old boys, he is rash, impulsive, and egotistical — unlike kanon, who is pushing thirty, getting too old to care, and can remain deadly calm even in the worst of situations.

schneizel's aide-de-camp smiles.]

Ah, please forgive me. I should have better introduced myself, Your Highness — I'm not here as a visitor today.

[another polite bow emphasizes his apology.]

I am here to replace Madam Alister for a time. She may not have mentioned this to you, as I know it was ever her wont to keep her work and personal life separate, but her father recently passed away, and she applied for bereavement leave accordingly. However, as you know, replacing palace staff can be... challenging, given the stringent security qualifications required to apply for the position.

[politely, kanon does not mention that the aries imperial villa has particularly strict employment requirements on account of what happened to empress marianne. lelouch is, after all, no doubt quite aware of this.

left implied is the rather unsettling fact that kanon has the relevant security qualifications, despite the fact that, officially, he is nothing more than schneizel's aide.]

As an appropriate replacement could not be located before her father's funeral, His Highness gave me leave — as both a gesture of respect for Madam Alister, as well as out of concern for his beloved younger brother — to fill her role while she deals with her father's considerable estate. As such, I will be your head of household staff in the coming weeks. Please feel free to give me any orders you may have given Madam Alister.

[ludicrous]

[ Unspoken, but implied: how quick Lelouch is to don the mantle of the wry, misbehaving student, whose truancy and tardiness can be forgiven for the way he coaxes on goodwill. Or the way he tips his hand as he tips his favor, intently listening for signs of weakness like a snake in the grass might, waiting for an opportunity to arise rather than compelling one himself. Oftentimes, he's overwhelmingly arrogant; with nothing to keep him in check until now, he's been lulled into a sense of complacency.

No more of that any longer, if his suspicions have been proven right. ]

I see. If older brother Schneizel entrusted me to your care, then I'll do what I can to live up to his expectations. I'd rather not impose on his kindness, or yours.

[ The artificiality shines through. Try as Lelouch might, his words sound so empty to a practiced ear, lacking that last push into anything resembling believability. He can't affect his eldest brother Odysseus's empty head, his pride comes on too strongly. It's something he constantly struggles to tamp down. Acquiescing a nod, Lelouch turns to make headway down the hall, backlit in the sun pouring through the grand windows of the villa.

It isn't enough to obscure his intent, given what little he does know of Kanon in light of his new employment. Lelouch needs to fool him, and fool him well. He's never probed too deeply into Schneizel's affairs, not out of conscientiousness, but the risk of discovery. The notion's a backhanded insult now, given how unscrupulous this invasion of his privacy is. Damn it. Schneizel's gone too far. ]

Would it be alright to assume you've been filled in on Madam Alister's day-to-day affairs? All household staff are given the weekly schedule a few days in advance, but for the sake of clearing the air, I'd ask that you accompany me for today. [ His expression visibly softens. ] I was about to make my rounds before retiring to the pavilion to eat, so I can field any questions you might have in the meantime. Although… I do have one of my own, if you don't mind answering it.

[ The risk he's taking is a taunt with a pH balance that tends toward something acidic than neutral. Lelouch is smiling, minding the space immediately to his right— walk beside him, not behind him, he won't treat a man who can stand to be Schneizel's equal in nearly every regard with disrespect— but his eyes haven't left his new attendant once. Sizing Kanon up for any quirks or foibles is a matter of priority; anything Lelouch can exploit, he will, and the inquiry he proceeds to make reflects that kind of hopeless egotism in him, like everyone around him is merely a pawn to be maneuvered at will. ]

… You had no complaints with this kind of arrangement? I imagine it must be inconvenient.

[sforzi]

[wordlessly, kanon acquiesces to lelouch's request, though he walks behind lelouch in subservience at first before he recognizes the boy's implicit request that they walk side-by-side, and then he quickens his pace. it's all for show, really; kanon's self-esteem is not so low that he would prostrate himself before every member of britannia's royal family, and his usual place is by his prince's side, but he merely ducks to the background whenever necessary, as any good aide should.

besides, he's not here to serve lelouch — but he will, and with aplomb, so long as that's his cover.]

Inconvenient in what way?

[if he were seeking to cultivate a combative relationship between himself and prince lelouch, he would leave the question there, parry the prince's question with a question — but it's better, in some cases, to cede useless information before being pressed into divulging something else. deliberate in every way, kanon meets lelouch's eyes and winks roguishly in his direction, smiling like a conspirator in a crime.]

Just between you and me, Your Highness, you aren't Princess Carine. Now being forced to attend her would have been inconvenient.

[princess carine is, in the best of all possible terms, an annoying little twit, and her disdain — perhaps a sort of one-sided rivalry — for nunnally is well-documented.]

[ludicrous]

[ Any suspicions he's being worked over have immediately come full circle.

What Lelouch feels for Nunnally isn't even fondness: he cherishes his younger sister like he might cherish an ideal, set up on a pedestal to the absolute detriment of everything else. Some of it is guilt over what she's been deprived of, but most of it is love of the kind that doesn't ask for reciprocation, the sentiment of it an open wound. His one true weakness. Before himself, he'd protect her.

But he can't fault Kanon for the heavy-handed approach or the conspiratorial touch of his voice, given that Carine is just as godawful as the rumors paint her: callous and rude and warmongering, with a thirst for violence like she needs an outlet for the cruelty in her. There's perhaps no one in his extended family he loathes more for making a target out of Nunnally. ]

I suppose that's where we differ. I find it much easier to deal with someone who wears their heart on their sleeve. Carine isn't one to hide her feelings.

[ Lelouch laughs, returning his gaze to the corridor ahead. A couple steps further and they'll hit the courtyard. His voice remains amicable throughout, toting the same ease he might use to strangle someone (neat, precise, rife with his own brand of ruthlessness). ]

I do wonder. When pushed to a corner, are you one to hide yours?

[ Well, Schneizel's ever-loyal bloodhound? Do you bare your fangs or continue playing the noble dignitary under pressure? ]

[sforzi]

[ah. hm. an interesting response. clearly, lelouch has no plans to make this fun for the both of them — or at least, he has no interest in cultivating an externally functional relationship, which is the same thing, in kanon's book. still, if he wants to play at asking vague and passive-aggressive psychological questions, why not let him?]

That depends on the situation, doesn't it?

[the aide is still feigning gentle amusement, playing the noble dignitary — which is to say that his gentle amusement is very much real, but he knows lelouch is trying to call him out. he'll claim ignorance, though, if pressed. as of now, kanon is an actor — a humble secretariat dispatched to watch over his employer's brother — and nothing lelouch says or does will sway him from his role.]

I realize this isn't a proper answer, but I don't think my feelings are relevant in most circumstances. In my line of work, if you're thinking about yourself and not the man you serve, you've already lost half the battle. But I admit I haven't felt cornered in a long time.

[why let lelouch have that information? well, he's not going to push kanon into a corner either way, is he? not unless he gets very creative.]

I suppose the last person to back me into a corner was Prince Schneizel himself.

[ludicrous]

[ It's called philosophical discourse. Carve a cross-section out of this one-sided exchange and it'll probably start to resemble a grand trompe-l'œil: immaculate on the surface, but beneath the illusion of goodwill it's endlessly rotten, much like his methods for securing a win in any given chess match. With a heart so pitilessly deceitful, Lelouch can only act accordingly to his own will and make adjustments accordingly. He has the nagging suspicion that the same holds true for Kanon. ]

I didn't know you two shared that sort of a relationship.

[ That's just none of his business, but okay. It is a little enlightening. Whether or not Schneizel pulls the leash too tightly or to corrosive effect is irrelevant. It's how Kanon responds to displays of unbridled power that matters.

Regardless, Lelouch is enough of a gambler to keep pushing his luck. Out in the courtyard, the morning light is peeling its way through the clouds, leaving the path ahead lit in warmth as he walks the balancing beam of casual aggression and equally casual cordiality, one step after the other. Along the way, they pass a gaggle of maids who giggle and sneak furtive glances at Kanon, clearly enamored. ]

If you cast those feelings aside, isn't it possible you'll lose sight of your goal entirely? [ For example, vengeance sharp enough to throttle and maim. Is that something better to renounce? ] In any kind of work, I don't think it's weakness to remember what's important to you.

[ Lelouch comes to a stop, gaze intent and dark even under direct sunlight as he makes an open study of Kanon. ]

So should it even matter whether or not you feel cornered to begin with?

[sforzi]

[kanon is in no way a ladies' man — he wears his tastes on his sleeve, if not his feelings, so most women are quick to pick up on the fact that he's more like a woman than interested in them — but he understands that his uncommonly attractive face and feminine demeanor make him a novelty for most young ladies, and rather soothing to be around at that, so he smiles and waves an elegant greeting to the gaggle of maids as they walk past. it's only polite to introduce himself to those who will be working under his direction, after all. also, if lelouch isn't careful, his own maids are going to be fawning over kanon by next week.

it's only when they stop walking, and lelouch stares kanon down, that the man puts his charm away for just a moment.

it's fascinating, kanon thinks, not for the first time, how pure, how sullied the blood of britannia runs. lelouch's eyes, narrowed in the morning sun, are a dark violet — a touch of warmth in the color sets him apart from all of his siblings, even nunnally, from before marianne's assassins claimed her vision. the color of lelouch's eyes is almost comparable to the emperor's own deep violet irises. with a handful of exceptions, one can almost predict the efficacy of a britannian child's rule to whether or not they have those beautiful violet eyes. schneizel's eyes are a unique shade of lilac. cornelia has purple eyes, too, of a bluer tint, and one that nearly matches her full-blooded sister euphemia's. lesser princes, like odysseus and clovis, hold no claim to that royal purple at all.

and lelouch is a handsome young man, really. kanon has noticed that, of course. he's more slight and elfin than schneizel, who towers over every other man in a room, whose jawline could be cut from marble, his cheekbones from diamond. lelouch, in kanon's view, is more of a dark and delicate beauty, cold and not to be touched, better in the shadows than in the light. still, when he stands like this and demands answers with that commanding demeanor — if he had a few more years on him, or if kanon were a younger man, still that prowling beast in search of a master to serve —

in another life, kanon muses, i might have sworn myself to this prince instead.

but this isn't that life and nothing can sway kanon from schneizel, and he knows why he is here. on the one side, lelouch has his ambition, his vengeance, his determination, his hatred. on the other, kanon has his loyalty, and that is the only thing that drives him.

which one will win out?

kanon's own eyes are cold for a fraction of a second — half-lidded and haughty, blue as ice and just as deep. he wears an expression that lelouch has likely seen on schneizel a thousand times before — it's the expression that the second prince wears when he's deep in thought, when he isn't pretending to be kind and generous and all those other things that the perfect, placid prime minister of britannia is supposed to be. it isn't surprising, of course, that schneizel's aide must be rather similar to him — but that they should be so similar at heart despite their many outward differences is almost frightening.

with a diction so stilted that kanon is clearly quoting something, he replies:]

...You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

[ophelia. shakespeare's hamlet, act 3, scene 2.

instead of answering lelouch's questions, kanon simply smiles, presses one hand to his cheek, and says:]

I realize I can be rather distracting, Your Highness, but you mustn't look at me so intensely. Do you suppose brothers really have the same taste? Perhaps I need to call up Lady Ashford for some girl talk...

[the cheeky grin on kanon's face suggests, at least, that he's joking, but it is true that he's spoken with milly at a handful of parties in the past. never for long, but he has a way with girls.]

[ludicrous]

[ Always going for those deep cuts.

Acrimony's never failed him, though. Lelouch lacks a knight or an aide or even a confidante— and still, friendless and alone, his thirst for revenge can't be satiated. He'll crave for more, endlessly, enticing his own destruction; it's not enough to take the luxury of a prince upon himself but a tyrant's madness instead, brimming over with the capacity to destroy. Where Schneizel would be absurdly content to maintain eternal peace on earth akin to bodily death, he'd rather shatter it and set everything free.

So Lelouch could never fall into passivity, gone absolutely rigid at the comparison Kanon draws. Even chagrin's there. At the cusp of adulthood, he still hasn't full grown into an irreconcilable monster yet, flushing a little in humiliation. His eyes lose that cold and glittering look as he sharply averts his gaze. So shameless. ]

Are you sure about that? My fianceé's a handful... and she's unable to keep a secret, either. But I like those kind of people the most, Kanon.

[ Insolently, for all of a second, he drops the stuffy title and the posturing. Honesty that could annihilate a person. That's what he values. Kanon's just like his older brother, barely kept in check by the system that coffins them both in for the blessing and curse that stands to be, so treading carefully is a necessity. Lelouch hasn't mastered experience nor brutality, but he doesn't provoke the same blind adoration out of the servants, either. It'll be easier to maintain a careful distance when his own staff are all too willing to shadow Kanon's steps and observe his every move.

Like now. Like with one of the maids who have straggled behind, content with watching from behind a white marble pillar. A crush? Infatuation? Schneizel's much beloved by the nobility to the same empty, vacuous degree. But Lelouch knows nothing of affection, only of what he wants and can't be without. To spur jealousy on really only takes stepping close to Kanon, and leaning in. Eyes all-pupil now, whether from proximity, the danger, or both. ]

Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to my older sister Guinevere's dinner party this evening? Nunnally's recovering from the flu, and Milly's out of the country for the next few days, so I'll need a plus-one. Accept if you'd like to.

[ Then Lelouch turns to walk on. Keep pace, Kanon. And keep watching Kanon keep pace, little maid, that testimony will prove invaluable later on. He was en route to his little sister's room to begin with. The only reason Lelouch hasn't kept some tireless vigil over her is because she's accused him cosseting over her too much when she's ill. But even bed-ridden, she might find some relief in their new visitor-turned-watchdog that's come to scrutinize him for any mistakes, as per Schneizel's mandate. Lelouch's steps are too quick, evidently bothered, but nothing in his expression should overtly give him away. ]

[sforzi]

[kanon's first reaction is just to laugh. at his own joke, yes, but at the brief flicker of innocence in lelouch's reaction, too — now that's something that kanon never had the privilege of seeing in schneizel. a shame, too. britannian princes. they're just so darling.]

Very cute.

[teasing in a manner most insolent for the mere head of household staff, kanon continues keeping pace with lelouch; he takes note of the maid trailing them, too, wondering briefly if the woman's intentions are innocent or if she's a spy — there's a gun strapped beneath his arm and a knife sheathed against his calf that could address her in that case — but for the time being, her interest appears ordinary. carry on, then.]

I'd be honored to accept dinner with Princess Guinevere. I suppose I'll have to ask her about that pavilion she's sponsoring.

[britannia's first princess is, much like the first prince, another individual of royal issue who seems to lack true charisma. unlike odysseus, however, guinevere is not even particularly affable to make up for what she lacks in leadership — but she responds well to flattery, so kanon knows how to placate her, for the most part.]

And to answer your question... What's important to me is Schneizel. So long as I don't lose sight of that, I think I'll be fine.

[kanon was briefed, of course, on nunnally's recuperation; a palace chef has been tasked with preparing an appropriately delicious and nourishing soup for her first meal of the day. assuming she's awake, it might be delivered to her room by the time lelouch and kanon make their rounds.]

[ludicrous]

[ This onion has layers. Lelouch is impossibly too egotistical not to be a haughty mess when he's promptly outdone, though the tips of his ears are tinged bright-red. This was such an awful oversight. Going forward, he'll need to control his emotions better— put on a better front, assume a more convincing guise, so his older brother's watchdog will find no fault to hold up as a sign of treason, but he can't overcome this obstacle if he can't overcome himself first. ]

So it would seem. How good for you.

[ It's a serrated edge in his voice that even Schneizel should have a confidant in this world so reverent and partial to him. It strikes Lelouch then, how alone he really is: all of his acquaintances are casual ones, even those who might consider him close, and a little sister and his politically-designated betrothed can't count as such among the number of people he even remotely cares about.

He lacks a friend. A true friend, someone who might care for him despite all of his little quirks and foibles, and it's incredibly pathetic that it's taken heavy-handed surveillance for Lelouch to figure out that he's less than companionable. (Ill-to-please to the point that a pretty face and genteel manners alone should win over the hearts of his staff more than anything their prince has done over the past several months.)

Past the threshold of the grand doors he swings open, he's noticeably more subdued, brows scrunched together. By now, it should obvious they're making headway towards Nunnally's quarters: this section of the villa is cordoned off expressly for her sake, from the sumptuous garden visible through the windows of this hall to the uptick in guards, like he's assigned the majority of them to protect her exclusively. Well. ]

How did you two meet?

[ Schneizel and the man he would entrust his life to. Lelouch asks the question with no particular cadence, but turned away like this, striding too briskly, it's at least somewhat apparent that he's harboring some deep, mostly irrational jealousy. ]

[sforzi]

[there's a dark and sulky edge to lelouch's voice — something spiteful, hateful, but not directed towards britannia. could he be he's jealous? it might be possible, kanon thinks — notably, lelouch has never retained a personal knight, and he seems to have no particular platonic friendships. a sister and a fiancée do not sate that longing which exists in all men to have a confidant, a friend, a partner in crime. even schneizel has a friend; lelouch, on the other hand, has no one.

the fact that schneizel's closest friend may also be more to him is just a happy coincidence.]

Ah, we met in our schooling years. We attended the Imperial Colchester Institute together.

[nunnally's side of the villa certainly seems much brighter, much livelier than where lelouch secludes himself. her guardsmen are not nearly as distracted by kanon's handsome face as lelouch's maidservants were (although one young man does seem to be staring a bit more than necessary), but they'll find things to like about their new superior, too: his carriage is alert, ready to respond to potential threats, and when he waves in greeting this time, it's without the deliberate flash of the holster beneath his blazer. they're all professionals. they should know that the real threat is the one you can't see.]

I was something of a troublemaker in my youth, so Schneizel took it upon himself to keep me in line. The rest, as they say, is history.

[clearly a very redacted explanation. but it's not very nice to traumatize a young man by informing him that his older brother whipped you upon first meeting.]

[ludicrous]

[ The distinction between discipline and humiliation is a thin one. No point in prying too heavily into it now that they've arrived at their destination, where Sayoko (Milly's former maid turned Nunnally's personal attendant) escorts them inside before excusing herself to bring the head cook's soup. Kanon's admiring fan can be glimpsed before the door closes, but just as well— no outsiders allowed. Kanon is the exception to the rule, not the norm, in this threshold that separates Nunnally from the rest of the world.

It's a humungous room. More extravagant than any one person could fill, decorated as such, to the point that it's near-sickening to look upon. Light transposes itself through glass where the curtains have been brushed aside. The silhouette his younger sister casts is dignified but frail, propped up along the headboard of the bed by a haphazard amount of pillows. Her neck's thin and her wrists are even thinner, like a doll made of porcelain. But he knows better than to underestimate her. Even on the mend, her grip can be tighter than this.

Lelouch's ego is sunsetting in her presence. His attention's entirely diverted from Kanon and whatever dubious relationship he shares with Schneizel at just the sound of her voice ("Lelouch, is that you?") when he kneels at the side of the bed to take up one hand in his, delicately folding his fingers over it. ]

Good morning, Nunnally. I brought company. This is Earl Maldini. He'll be in charge of the household staff for the next few weeks while Alister's away.

[ Nodding along, it takes his sister a moment or two to ask for Kanon's hand, given the sheer amount of origami she needs to sift through first. All around the blankets and flooding the bedside are spools upon spools of chiyogami paper alongside several other types of washi, so vibrant the colors almost appear to stain the duvet. Each shape she's folded remains the same, however: cranes like nesting birds that she's strung up by the dozen at her side, each one counting down to a thousand-dream wish Nunnally hasn't yet disclosed to anyone.

It's a mere snippet of a conversation shared among the three of them shortly afterwards: the weather (pleasant enough to be wheeled outside once she's feeling better), her progress with the cranes (halfway to three-hundred, but she's taking a break for now), whether she'll be well enough for the dinner party tonight (unlikely, given how quick she is to apologize). By this point, it's self-illuminating just how Lelouch forces the difference in himself when he's around her, not as a sullen, moody prince but a horribly overprotective brother, obliging her every request with a gentleness that borders on excruciating. As if he's sublimated his own will in her stead.

When Sayoko's returned with breakfast, Lelouch leaves the two of them be, bidding his farewell and gesturing towards the door for Kanon to follow. He hasn't opened it yet, however, his hand braced around the knob. ]

... Was serving Schneizel something you wanted?

[ Was it blind idolatry, the way Lelouch all but prostrates himself before Nunnally? Or was it something forced upon him? ]

[sforzi]

[nunnally is sweet. she is. being blind, she can't be swayed one direction or another by kanon's good face — but there are other ways to charm women, especially sheltered little girls who've seen little of the world. kanon is nothing but a gentleman so long as he is in her room (less a room and more a chapel to her worship): he kneels when he takes nunnally's hand, calls her princess, kisses her knuckles. it's not hard to sound genuine. he thinks she's cute.

as they leave her room, kanon's conclusion is this: he'll try not to involve her in whatever happens between himself and lelouch. he'll try. but that isn't a promise, and if lelouch's fondness for nunnally is something that can be exploited, it might just have to be exploited.

but he won't go that far just yet. he's still not expecting to have to do much more than reprimand a misbehaving boy.]

Hm?

[briefly, as he waits near the door, kanon feigns having not heard the question — what's on his mind is why lelouch would suddenly turn the topic back to schneizel so soon after visiting nunnally. servitude? loyalty? is this about schneizel and kanon, or is it about nunnally and lelouch?]

Well, that's an interesting question. Suppose I said no?

[only theoretically, of course. the honest and obvious answer is yes.]

Either way, I wear my collar rather well now, don't you think?

[kanon, nunnally is still in earshot... oh well, she's old enough to know better...]

[ludicrous]

[ Fuck.... anyways........ ]

That's a matter of opinion, isn't it?

[ Lelouch exhibits enough cordiality that the absolute steel of his frustration doesn't spike up until he's well out of earshot as he shuts the door behind Kanon, brusqueness in his rapidly closing and opening fist as it's brought down to his side. The subterfuge in him slips like paint over turpentine. Inlaid within his expression is the utter corrosion of the anger he's been carrying out for the past seven years, there and gone in a second as Lelouch pivots on his heel.

It's too much being in that room, so stifled and drowning. Whatever wish she makes with those crane garlands won't bring back her sight or the use of her legs. Nunnally's less than a pawn this way; in this fashion, she's made like a paperweight his father's disavowed and left to languish.

He walks on, considering whether Kanon yearned for the leash and collar. If his keenness for Schneizel ran that deep, it couldn't have been disagreeable. Even feral animals want for something to soothe the savagery; if Lelouch couldn't exert force over his own desires, he'd count himself among the dead.

The way to the pavilion where breakfast has prepared well in advance is insufferably silent, until: ]

You don't have any questions for me?

[ Somehow, he'd expected more cruelty. ]

[sforzi]

[cruelty isn't in kanon's blood, really. even when he was at his worst — a wild beast lashing out at others — it was for the thrill of it, the adrenaline. he doesn't take special pleasure in making others suffer, and when necessary, when he's hard-pressed, he prefers to go for a swift end.

lelouch isn't in need of a mercy killing yet, and his anger and hatred for the world around him is all-too-predictable. if he were a genuine threat, one on the verge of toppling the britannian monarchy, kanon would be more concerned. as things stand, however, the one most in need of saving from lelouch might just be lelouch himself.]

Well, I'd ask you why you seem so angry all the time, but it would only be a formality. I can drawn my own conclusions.

[it's not as though lelouch has done anything overtly aggressive yet, but his bitterness is in every gesture, in the clenching of his fist, the grit of his teeth, the whirling and twirling on his ankles. if nunnally's not around, he probably slams doors.]

More than anyone else, Lelouch, you're hurting yourself like this.

[ah, the bitter taste of unwanted therapy before breakfast.]

[ludicrous]

[ Melodramatics are his forte. Thriving from what's forsaken him as well as suffering with it, and without it— possessed by the past as much as he's sustained by it. Righteousness doesn't dwell in Lelouch's heart, but evil instead. Something profane like that, enough to tolerate killing others as his mother's been killed.

There's a little stab of amusement as he's psychoanalyzed; the feeling gutters and gutters around in chest awhile, until he lends a voice to it. ]

I was thinking about what you'd hope to gain from humoring me, but that goes without saying. Just as you've reached your answer, I've reached mine.

[ You're a lot more human than I thought you'd be. Though Kanon echoes Schneizel's words (you're hurting yourself like this, you're really too emotional), they're not from the vantage point of a god among men but someone who might've been able to empathize at one point.

Perhaps he'd want a friend like this: someone not afraid to push him from the summit of his lofty, high-strung pride into the chasm below. His voice dims with an ache that's stretching into Lelouch's mouth as they head towards the breakfast table laden with a meal for two, as per his instructions to Sayoko earlier. ]

Should I tell you? What it is I desire more than anything else. Or will you draw your own conclusions once more?

[sforzi]

[lelouch is correct: kanon is not a god, like schneizel, and he's not so deluded that he would believe himself to be a god, either. perhaps he's simply some sort of high priest dedicated to schneizel's worship; perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he is the ganymede to schneizel's zeus, a mortal granted the rare gift of immortality on account of his beauty and wit.

but he doesn't look down on lelouch, that much is clear. he waits, politely, for the prince to be seated before taking a seat himself. this is quite the "vacation" that schneizel planned for me, he thinks. sunshine, flowers, the beautiful aries villa, and his prince's unruly younger brother. the breakfast spread looks delicious.

kanon smiles as if he is trying not to reveal his fangs.]

I'd rather hear it from your pretty lips, Your Highness.

[ludicrous]

[ Feels a lot like castigation. Lelouch is enough of an inveterate sinner to take that perception-sharp sickle of a smile not at face-value but at shock value, humor sliding its way back in. He's no Shakespearean prince who can balance the scales, ruthlessness in one side, benevolence in the other. He opens more wounds than he should, in himself and others. Vacation in paradise is no different from vacation in hell if Lelouch is burning under an acrimony that's never healed regardless.

Over the table and its decadent platters, Lelouch steeples his fingers like they're impressed with the weight of a terrible, unfettered truth that requires caging. ]

Before that, I'd ask what you desire the most. If you don't have a wish, you could make one up just as well, right? But that doesn't appear to be the case to me.

[ Prove him wrong, otherwise. The air's irradiated not with risk, but leisure. Kanon's welcome to refuse him over and over again, but just once will suffice. His older brother's aide isn't one to mince words. All of this is small talk, negligible in the grander scheme. And yet. ]

Tell me that, and I'll tell you mine.

[sforzi]

[this question, finally, wins a response from kanon that isn't his satisfied smile, or his knowledgeable and sickeningly sympathetic smirk. for a moment, the earl actually seems surprised, maybe even a little alarmed. it has been many, many years since anyone last asked him what he wanted, or if he wanted anything, because he does such a good job of keeping up the facade that he is in fact a man who wants for nothing at all.]

What I desire?

[he asks this with such obvious discomfort that it is clear he would have a better response if lelouch had asked him for what schneizel desired. for a moment, kanon wrestles with appropriate falsehoods, but it's as lelouch says: he could make something up, something that would be perfectly convincing for a man of his position and station in life, but this isn't the sort of question to which kanon would lie.]

What I desire is — it will never come to pass.

[he says this so resolutely that it is clear he has to believe in this for himself, lest the want for it consume him.]

[ludicrous]

Cute.

[ The apoplexy that's stuck around in his hands thus far has dozed off, like his bloodthirst, like his frustration. It all ebbs away in an instant. Lelouch retracts them to lean in, sharing in the derision of it all. Their wish is the same, then: something that will never come to be. But an unattainable dream is painfully damning in its own right. A longing that clamors to be realized, always.

It'd be a disservice to ask for clarification, so Lelouch doesn't. Given what he already knows of what Kanon might still seek out, possibly even to the throes of death, there's no longer a reason to pry any further. He isn't heartless. Just pragmatic. ]

You've given me plenty to think about, Earl Maldini. I'm grateful.

[ The damage is done. Lelouch willingly incurs any ire Kanon sees fit to bestow as he retreats, his tableau one of ostensible greed as he indulges in breakfast. Good breeding and posture won't negate his endless inclination toward hypocrisy and extremism— the closest comparison Lelouch can even draw to himself is that of Suzaku Kururugi, Euphemia's Knight of Honor, who is as brittle and temperamental beneath the easy-going facade as he is genuine. But he won't take what his sister has long-since claimed.

Lelouch smiles, mirthful. His shoulders, narrow and drawn-together, visibly straighten. ]

... If Schneizel should uphold the status quo, then I seek change. The tomorrow to come. I will never look behind me if I can look endlessly ahead. Wishful thinking, isn't it? But it's the truth. What I've longed for, all along... is the ability to overcome the world.

[ The power to destroy.

Any other confession he could make grows anemic and pales to it. Is that a better wish, or a worse one? A yearning he's devoted himself toward for the past seven years. In the back of Lelouch's throat, amidst the sweetness of every trifling dessert, is a bitterness that lingers. ]

My fiancée calls it a pipe dream. But it's better to have one than find yourself deprived. Wouldn't you agree?

[sforzi]

...I didn't take you for such an optimist.

[kanon relaxes, though he's still unsettled, and feels vaguely as though lelouch won something in that exchange, but he's not quite sure what. knocked me off my pedestal for a moment, i suppose, he concludes begrudgingly.

it doesn't matter, does it? whether or not kanon has a dream? no, it shouldn't matter at all. having an impossible dream is exactly the same as being without — and if kanon has no dreams, why then it only stands to reason that he's perfectly happy with the way things are.

he has nothing to complain about.

he has to believe that he has nothing to complain about.

there is no reason that kanon maldini should want to change the world.]

I think changing the world can be a noble endeavor, Your Highness. Particularly if one's ambition is to change the world for the better. The question from there becomes how one will change the world, and by what means.

[killing off the nobles of britannia isn't a particularly effective catalyst for change.]

[ludicrous]

I don't consider myself one.

[ Cynicism is a polished, inscrutable mirror he reflects himself upon, always. What little good can be said about Lelouch is tempered by the the fundamental evils he commits. Idly, he stirs the tea as he might've tried to stir Kanon's will. Schneizel is already exerting as much force in their conversation as he would if he was present, as if he's pressed the bright, hot muzzle of a gun to Lelouch's head in a display of force. ]

... If I said world domination, would you punish me?

[ Or does that fall out of his jurisdiction, left up to their emperor-king's indifference to justice and prejudice alike? This elaborate ruse wasn't orchestrated by his hand but Schneizel's, though even his older brother surely can't be soothed with their father languishing upon the throne as he allows everything to fall to ruin. ]

After all, the reason anyone strives toward an unattainable wish is so they can satisfy themselves.

[ A tyrant is a tyrant, but he'll wear that title with pride for his own benefit, renouncing every virtue if necessary. What purpose is there in resigning oneself to despair and suffering in the wake of futility? Only emptiness awaits those who die in misery, who die without ever grasping contentment for themselves. Shouldn't Kanon find fault with the ugliness of complacency? Shouldn't anyone? His own sister smiles to deceive him, valuing his happiness over hers. Isn't that wrong? ]

I'll ask you again, Earl Maldini. Wouldn't you like to change the world?

[sforzi]

[kanon smiles wryly, breaking eye contact for a moment under the pretense of rearranging the eggs on his plate.]

We Britannians have been plotting world domination for three hundred years and still haven't quite managed it yet. I look forward to seeing you continue the effort.

[a clever and witty response. he has also sidestepped the question. one answer is that kanon needs to call schneizel before punishing lelouch, in case it might be taken as infidelity. the honest answer is that kanon doesn't like to be reminded that he could have a sense of self-identity if only he were not so devoted to schneizel. he doesn't need an ego. he needs a god.]

I think it would be wonderful if the world were a little more kind. [if things like the assassination of marianne vi britannia never happened.] But I also know that such a thing is... beyond the scope of one man.

[ludicrous]

Keep sidestepping and you're prone to flat on your face one of these days.

[ But by all means, preempt every one of Lelouch's hangups— that he is mortal and fallible, that he doesn't stand at the position to ascend any further but fall to depths lower than hell, a prince of an empty title and emptier influence as far as the political schema is concerned. One more drop into the endless bucket of iniquity. And more tinder for the fire, when Lelouch likens himself to the kerosene waiting for a lit wick of a match to set everything ablaze.

At least in this lifetime, he's allowed to be indubitably selfish for Nunnally's sake. She'd never approve: not of the murders he's laid out like a neat cemetery row, not his systematic destruction of the cog wheels that turn this absurd world so the machine known as the royal hierarchy will stop spinning for the benefit of the hopelessly corrupt. A hypocrite destroying fellow hypocrites. But he isn't acting with her approval in mind.

Where Kanon scoots the scrambled omelette about his plate like a carousel of carbohydrates, Lelouch cuts into his sunny-side egg like it's a form of bloodletting, the yellow oozing where the membrane splits right down the middle. The same way he'd like to split this conversation in two. (If I made an order, would you take me up on it? Or would you only continue to deny me?)

For a boy clowning around, Lelouch's smile is as grimly artificial as if it was painted on, his penchant for dramatics on an exponential incline. ]

Let me rephrase, then. Have you ever been in love?

[sforzi]

[kanon quirks a brow for lelouch's first remark — fall flat on his face? not likely; he's an excellent dancer, both metaphorically and literally — but he doesn't respond, largely due to the fact that he's cut himself a neat piece of his omelette and is chewing it thoughtfully. delicious. compliments to the chef. and a few more thoughts for how to stifle the imminent wildfire that prince lelouch has quickly become.

the thing about kanon, however, is that kanon is much like schneizel — and the thing about both of them is that they aren't particularly concerned about the dead britannian nobles themselves. the dead britannian nobles are just one part of a larger game, a grand game of conquest and betrayal and manipulations, one which they are both very good at playing. and when someone offers the two of them a promising challenge, why, it seems only fair to give him time to get the pieces settled before they strike back.

in other words, if lelouch wants to add more graves to his cemetery while kanon sits eating his omelette whilst gauging his reactions on schneizel's behalf — well, that's fine.

that is what's wrong with britannia today, but kanon knows this. he just delights in it. he's human, but he's a monster, too.

and do monsters fall in love?]

I suppose that depends on one's definition of love. Is it devotion to another person? Is it the desire to sully one's hands for another person? Is it the willingness to put that other person before yourself, no matter the cost? Is it romantic desire? Is it sexual desire?

[a delicate sip of his tea, for romantic and sexual desire.]

I think I have been in love. But is it what you think of as love?

[ludicrous]

[ That look alone bites the glibness out of Lelouch's stare, like the spotlight of recrimination shines upon him. He's made it a point to be conscientious with his cruelties, hands-off with the catastrophe he's wreaked, but before Kanon it might just be rendered meaningless. A child throwing a tantrum over a prince that justifies the end by the means. Expecting extortion and being greeted bait-and-switch of a falsehood in its stead, as per that allegiance to Schneizel dictates. The more he asks, the more inscrutable his older brother's aide becomes.

One thing is clear, though. ]

Then it's the same as self-sacrifice for you? [ Lelouch sips the tea. It's bitter, a taste he could liken to vitriol. The saccharinity doesn't come through in the drink or his voice. ] Personally, I don't see it as martyrdom.

[ What he's subjected onto those he loves isn't that kind or perverted. It's self-satisfaction. But for the sake of being amicable, he'll oblige Kanon's line of inquiry. ]

If you're asking seriously, my answer would be... 'something that swallows other people's desires or something you're swallowed up by'. [ So: an ouroboros. The snake that swallows itself infinitely, like this conversation, going around and around in circles. Setting the teacup down, Lelouch takes the first bite of the meal, then the second, then the third. Methodical and neat, displaying his capacity for avarice. At the fourth bite, he pauses, the fork an inch or so from his mouth. ] Does it matter whether that love is selfish or selfless? Regardless of what form it takes, it's a wish all the same.

[ And then Lelouch swallows it all down. ]

Does Schneizel know?

[ Vague. Vague, vague, vague. But he'll trust Kanon to interpret this question as he will, or ask for clarification, which, much like silence, is its own answer. ]

[sforzi]

Hmm. He'd better.

[a vague, vague answer for a vague, vague question. but, really, he'd better. much as it may seem to outward eyes as though kanon is a humble aide, slaving for the attentions of a prince who has never truly looked in his direction, kanon maldini is in fact not the sort of man who would act without receiving something in return.

for the first time, however, kanon seems to be genuinely interested in lelouch's philosophical queries. he's set his knife aside for the nonce, his omelette finished; there's a selection of breads and jams that he would like to work on next, but the young prince has captivated him, at least for the moment.]

So you believe selfish love is just as valid as selfless love? Best keep those impulses in check, Your Highness. Our great nation has laws against stalking, and I don't want sweet Milly to need a restraining order in the future.

[he smiles wryly, sipping at his tea; his voice turns softer, however, once he's closed his eyes.]

...But all jokes aside, I think I understand how you feel. I don't agree, but I understand how you feel.

[on one end, kanon embodies love as self-sacrifice, as martyrdom, as the willingness to lay down his life for schneizel's. on the other end, lelouch embodies love to the point of destruction, love that turns to mutual devastation. a burning wildfire, consuming everything in its path. again comes the thought that if kanon was not already beholden to schneizel's icy heart, he would have liked this, this fire.]

In a different life, I might have found it wonderful to be swallowed up by your desires.

[ludicrous]

... Don't say something so incorrigible so easily, please. I'd rather not explain to my older brother why I had a restraining order placed on you the first day in.

[ Irrelevant to the bluntness in his retort is how deeply Lelouch's cheeks blotch a very deep, very vivid red when called out, fuming with color when his complexion typically resembles anemic on a good day. Pale and sallow like he'd only blister under direct sunlight. Remaining stiff-backed in the seat all the same is a premeditated act. Scrunch down and he'll lose the high ground to Kanon, and therefore Schneizel and the machinations that govern men who see fit to look down upon the world than live among its inhabitants. First and foremost, this is diplomacy.

The rest of his breakfast remains untouched; he's lost his appetite but not yet the spider's thread of the conversation that he yanks at now, like Kandata attempting the ascent to paradise from the depths of hell. Whenever the cord snaps will the civility between them snap as well. ]

It can be both, you know. A selfish mindset for selfless reasons. Or using generosity to compensate for a sore lacking in character... [ There are sides to Lelouch— impudent, vengeful, foolish— all of it practiced to comedic effect, but only as parts of a greater whole. He lacks the charismatic air of his older brother but he can identify longing when he sees it, given how furiously it dwells within himself, devouring him from the inside. The summation of all that unchecked desire in Lelouch doesn't have to be the same to be just as devastating. ] If Schneizel acknowledges it, then I fail to see why he wouldn't reciprocate it. ... But that isn't enough, is it? I don't envy your position.

[ The world's denied him so many times. That's the risk Lelouch takes in opening his heart and laying the contents bare now. He can't expect loyalty from Kanon. He can barely expect to come out of this exchange unscathed. But if Kanon is anything at all like Schneizel— if that cold keenness in him wasn't an act— then he can expect no retaliation as of yet. A slap on the wrist aside, a grandiose, all-consuming dream of revenge aside, Lelouch straightens in his seat, prideful. ]

... Since you understand how I feel, all I can ask is what you plan to do from here.

[ Will he be denied once more? ]

[sforzi]

Me? My only plans are to be your loyal retainer, Prince Lelouch.

[there it is, the act again. either for legal or moral reasons, kanon appears unwilling to shed all pretense. but lelouch's assessment is correct: kanon has no plans, as of yet, for retaliation. he is merely seated across the table from lelouch, spreading butter on his toast.]

I like you a great deal, so I'll tell you this, Your Highness. I think that if you want to change the world... indeed, if you want to change this system, you could do it either by trying to seize the throne, or by working to change it from the inside out. But trying to destroy it without a clear plan for what you would put in its place is a fool's errand.

[scrape. scrape. serenely, kanon wipes his knife clean on the edge of his crust, and then his long lashes flick upward, framing the startling blue in his irises. like a panther bent over at a stream to drink, he looks up, suddenly, to spot prey across the water.]

Needless to say, His Highness Schneizel is also very fond of you. I'm sure, if you spoke with him, he might be able to set you on a more fulfilling course. Conquest starts one step at a time. You might be appointed viceroy of one of Britannia's Areas, for example. From there, your power and influence might grow.

[become part of the same loathsome system you would destroy. only a cog in the machine can change the machine.]

Ah, and... this is irrelevant, but His Highness is the Prime Minister of Britannia, as you well know. He has many duties, but one among them is to enforce the rule of law.

[that's a farce, given that schneizel himself frequently flouts the law, but that's not important at the moment.]

Were someone to be found guilty of committing vile, treasonous acts against the Crown, well... even a member of the royal family might not be able to escape extradition. Or prosecution. Or punishment.

[in other words: this, right now, this tea with kanon, the fact that he will be here for the next month or two — that is lelouch's slap on the wrist. and if he presses still further, there will be consequences.]

[ludicrous]

[ Kanon sheds enough with the locution of a cemetery worker who sees fit to pour dirt over an unmarked grave, speaking heedlessly of the bodies that've been dumped inside, acting just as heedless with the ledger of killed nobility thus far.

And Lelouch sits ill with the offense: crossing his legs, re-crossing his legs, soundly rebuked but not pliant to his various offenses as they're laid out. Under the purview of that stare, blue-blooded and blue-eyed too, tactful even when handling matters of deep and ugly tactlessness, he sets down his own butter knife. ]

I meant nothing of the sort, but if that's how you see it, I'll chalk it up to a loss and take the rebuke. It might be difficult to believe, but I want to avoid impinging any further on the Prime Minister's aid.

[ Aid and aide alike, the recitation of a truant student back in full form as he silently finishes the rest of his meal. The last thing to go is the tea, but the taste is poisoned by this conversation and his progress is unbearably slow. Small sips, big words. ]

Isn't it strange that Schneizel has never once turned me down for a game of chess, even when he's all but guaranteed to win? [ Nine times out of ten, the victory and spoils all go to his older brother. From the perspective of Kanon acting as Schneizel's shadow, ever-silent in his company, that governing constant is irresistible, carrying its own gravitational pull. ] One would expect boredom or ennui... he knows me all too well as an opponent, so why should he feel any inclination past a certain point? I'd retract the invitation myself if I thought he did so out of pity. I'm not expecting special treatment, nor do I want any favors.

[ Though favoritism can't be denied. In lieu of his death by firing squad he's pitted against Schneizel's loyal but surreptitiously polite bloodhound and inveigled with sweet talk, sweeter than the assorted candied desserts that sit about the table. ]

... I'm not refuting your point. I'd just like to understand why he appointed you to me, despite your previous engagement with him. Although the certifications run high, as far as I recall, Madame Alister isn't in short supply of potential stand-ins.

[ Rather than crushing every stillborn hope outright, Schneizel opts for the most intriguing choice available, and it's a point he'll contest Kanon on now: does he share that desire? And to what extent? ]

[sforzi]

[kanon's bemused smile doesn't falter. the aide takes a bite of his toast as lelouch speaks, the warm bread crunching crisply against his rows of perfect white teeth. he looks every inch the proper britannian earl, and yet there's a strange hunger to him. those pretty incisors could be gnarled canines for how wolflike the glint in kanon's eyes is.

he doesn't quite answer lelouch's question, however. again, he seems to have taken the opportunity for more jokes. at least it's easy to see how he might keep schneizel entertained if nothing else.]

Perhaps he simply wanted us to become better-acquainted? Or maybe he's grown tired of the way I prepare his tea?

[feigning girlish shock, kanon mock-gasps, eyes wide with mirthful horror.]

What will I do if some other man has caught his eye?

[kill his rival, probably.]

[ludicrous]

[ Resigned in the seat, eyes half-lidded, Lelouch abruptly stands. Each step's a cautionary tale of risk versus reward as he rounds the table. His mouth's itching from the aching to restrain the terrible upturn of a mouth and teeth that, while satisfying, will thoroughly incriminate him. Something to keep in mind: there's always more room for distrust. So, too, is there room for endless hatred for a world that would cast aside the weak. ]

First-degree murder is nothing to joke about.

[ Bracing the table's edge, he leans in.

For a moment, Kanon's words pull that fervor someplace deep inside. The implication of absolute control Schneizel leverages would prove instrumental to his every plan if only he could be cold enough to commit intimate murder as he might prepare tea. But Lelouch always ends up drinking what'll poison him, eventually. It shows in his face, mirthfulness presented as a mirror, reflecting the trespass back. ]

You wouldn't spare even me, Lord Maldini? [ The smile Lelouch has restrained thus far, as he sets it upon Kanon now, is completely worthy of condemnation. ] Terrifying. Remind me not to get on your bad side.

[ He's decided, then. Lelouch will do his damnedest to wrest his older brother's sword from him for the sake of Nunnally's wish. Grand miracles begin with small acts of calculation, such as the obliging downturn of his head as he visibly straightens. ]

Would you like to see the garden?

[sforzi]

[lelouch's moods are volatile and mercurial, at least from kanon's perspective — the boy is a regular hamlet. one minute, they're joking about how terrifying kanon may or may not be; the next, the prince has invited him to take a stroll through the gardens. being with lelouch is completely unlike being with schneizel, who prefers to live his life by a particular set of principles, by a particular schedule, and who spends most of his time correcting deviations from that course. schneizel does not entertain violent impulses. schneizel prefers order over chaos.

generally speaking, of course. from time to time, his prince advocates cultivating unrest as a necessary step toward conquest.

that being said, kanon is not without his own chaotic impulses, so he's inclined — somewhat rashly and dangerously — to follow this little lead of lelouch's wherever it leads. he doesn't rise from his chair quite yet, however, instead merely raising his brow in the young prince's direction as he takes another bite of his toast.]

And leave this lovely breakfast behind?

[he's joking, really. he doesn't care one way or another about breakfast — exemplified best by the fact that, of all the other delicious items in their breakfast spread, he chose bread and butter. the world's most modest fare. but it's funny, somehow, to keep pressing the joke, and keep playing the role of lelouch's patient manservant.]

I'll go with you, Your Highness, begging your permission to take this with me.

[ludicrous]

[ It's fine. Lelouch presupposes deceit in everything. His own heart isn't spared the offense. Hatred rules him so domineeringly. Given the opportunity to cease and desist, he worsens. His expression is so uniquely terrible; a smile that isn't a smile for the viciousness it exudes.

Madness incurring more madness. His immaturity understands no limit, fixing with a stare that bleeds violet, nothing like the blood-red flowers of his mother's garden save for the consistency. Just like them, he so very often wounds and is just as prone to wounding. His words are far too light and operatic for the heavy anvil that is sarcasm. ]

We'll be able to return, as per your needs. You're welcome to bring whatever you'd like along.

[ A butter knife, or a handgun, or the means with which to subdue Lelouch, who isn't very fit to begin with, can't defend himself against. At the risk of intimate murder himself, he's far too careless for this inherently vulnerability within himself to be anything less than intentional. ]

This way, if you would.

[ And Lelouch turns his back, overtly vulnerable, as he leads the good earl in the direction of the villa's neatly-maintained hedges and overly extravagant flower display. ]

[sforzi]

[so spiteful. so vicious. it really is quite the turn-on. if schneizel possessed half the taut anger that lelouch holds in his slender frame, the world would be engulfed in flame —and kanon would rejoice to see it.

as it is, however, lelouch is a hazardous material that kanon has been entrusted with disabling or disposing of, and he intends to do his job, even if he looks every inch the slacker as he walks through the royal gardens of aries palace with a piece of buttered toast in his mouth. munch munch. the knife strapped to his ankle and the gun beneath his arm are heavy against his body, familiar as the touch of his lover, but kanon doesn't think about using them as he follows the young prince deeper into the gardens. nothing appears to be a threat just yet.

that being said, what game is lelouch is playing now? he seems to have abandoned his philosophical questions, at least for the moment...]

Is there something you wanted to show me?

[ludicrous]

[ The real threat's unseen. It's in the allure of the pursuit; at a dead end, Lelouch can only rely on brazenness to carry him through. The very last tool at his disposal. Even pushed to the brink, he won't resort to violence. Nothing he can accomplish with a dagger that he can't outdo with the means to power. The will to defy the world that should stand against him. If he can't defeat Schneizel and the devastatingly beautiful man that stands at his side, then he may as well give up here and now, resign himself to a life spent cursing his own weakness.

Roses surround them both as they come to the end of the cobbled path, flooding the whole pavilion. Empress Marianne's taste for flowers vivid and blood-like coming through, long after her death. And beyond that, hedges, walling them both in. By the fountain at the very center, Lelouch addresses Kanon, still munching his way through breakfast. ]

Kanon Maldini. Aide-de-camp to the second prince Schneizel el Britannia. A man ten years my senior, though he could just as easily pass off a two year age difference. Heir apparent to a conglomerate that specializes primarily in cosmetics. [ And even more. The illustrious titles Lord Maldini has procured over the years exceed this short list, not to speak anything of the opinion of the nobility, who gentrify themselves to saints in his pleasant, amicable company. ] A man who wants for nothing. ... Ah, pardon. Should want.

[ Lelouch turns on him, the gaze Kanon elicits from him so openly conniving that what he'll say next should be as plain as day. ]

We won't be overheard here. We weren't followed, either.

[ He steps close, uncomfortably close. Into Kanon's personal space, as if it's the invitation of a loving embrace that awaits him and not the knife and the gun and the artful, countless ways Lelouch can be killed over the span of a couple seconds. ]

Say I were to make an advance on you right now. Would you reject me? I doubt my brother would find offense with it, given the emptiness in his heart. If anything, he'd be amused by my attempt to seduce you and betray my engagement. [ Endeavoring so desperately as he does to defeat Kanon, Lelouch stands only an inch or so apart from him. He can't be his brother, so still and calm, unfazed by the idea of his own death. Lelouch can't let go of Nunnally, either. All he can wield control over right now is himself. ] But I won't convince you to look my way. I'm well aware I can't be the one for you.

[ His hair color alone likely counts him out as a potential suitor or lover. Lelouch— so impertinently, so rudely— gently pries the piece of bread out of Kanon's mouth, and takes a bite of it himself. Over the same spot Kanon's bitten through, munching awhile, then returns the slice to his de-facto babysitter and awaits retribution. ]

So I can only ask. What can I do to satisfy you, so your vengeance won't find me?

[sforzi]

[you could give me my slice of toast back is the first, impertinent response that comes to kanon's lips, but then it is immediately returned to him, and he... well, he stares at it in some mild consternation, actually. for once in his life, he is at a loss for words. should he set it aside? continue eating it as some kind of power move? is this lelouch's weird way of asking him out? it would have been easier if we just made out, lelouch —

...he is actually a little peckish, so he'll continue eating his piece of toast, though it is worth noting that he starts on a different corner of it than the one lelouch just took a bite out of.

being, for the moment, a royal retainer of sorts, kanon can't match lelouch for impertinence, but he will step out of bounds for just a moment to poke patiently at lelouch's soft cheek.]

First of all, Your Highness, I would invite you to consider your position more carefully. You mustn't offer your body to someone like me. I've no prejudice against sex work, but you weren't born to be a whore.

[ludicrous]

[ Kanon Maldini may actually prove to be a more formidable foe than his own flesh and blood. For one thing, neither his father nor Schneizel would have continued munching down on toast after a proclamation of this horrible caliber.

His cheek's poked. His gaze flares up with fervor, so akin to desperation, in light of new and troubling developments like how much pleasure Lelouch would derive from provoking his brother's aide in this courtship of animosity and respect. A man who should come at him not with brusque censure but a soft rebuke, so unlike the kind of condescension he's used to when his mother's lack of blue blood ensures that he'll always be seen as somewhat inferior, compared to those who only carry nobility in their veins.

A man who should place no airs and ostentation, as Lelouch places upon himself airs and ostentation, leaning in. ]

And yet, you haven't refused me.

[ All of this is fine. All of this is what he'd come to expect. ]

Will you allow me to kiss you? Or will you decline?

[sforzi]

[this is...

...

...this is cute, is what it is. kanon almost, almost laughs. he won't actually do so, as he's well aware that lelouch is not trying to be cute, that he isn't doing this to be laughed at — but it's positively darling that he's come at this from this kind of angle.

such fervor the young prince has! such passion! this is, truly, the kind of desperation only mustered by someone who feels he has nothing to lose, everything to gain, and who would do anything for his cause. it would be admirable if kanon were not the sort of pitiless, empty man who cannot be moved.

laughing softly, kanon moves his hand some more. that finger that just poked lelouch's cheek, that's resting on the side of his face now, and kanon's thumb moves to brush the prince's bottom lip.]

You can kiss me if you want to, Lelouch, but it isn't going to change anything.

[forget the piece of toast, actually. kanon drops it to the ground — if it isn't cleaned up by the gardening staff, it will make a fine meal for the birds — and pulls lelouch in by the waist, as if holding him like a fair maiden to dance. oh, what is a prince to do now that his brother's knight is holding him this close?]

I will, however, greatly enjoy telling Schneizel of how you tried to seduce me. What do you think? He might kiss me all the harder to taste your lips on mine.

[ludicrous]

[ This is so inarticulably horrible.

He's standing there, the humiliation smarting, as Kanon singlehandedly takes him on. So much frustration dwells in him in that moment, it's maddening and chafes him as much as it does impresses.

Perhaps that's the worst of it: that he only has the utmost respect for this knave, this charlatan, this Casanova who's cut from the same cloth that Schneizel's made from. Cruelty that can recognize itself as cruelty. Malice not out of misdirection but from thorough honesty. His older brother would choose someone like this to remain at his side, a man who carries himself with all the tantamount weight of noblesse oblige but can spurn him in the same respect as something feral.

Lelouch clutches him about his shoulders. Pulled in by the waist, his face half-cradled, his movements are far less principled than behavior befitting a prince should permit when he steps on that damn piece of toast and shoves Kanon back against one of the rose hedges. ]

Precisely why I'll silence your mouth now.

[ Lelouch is low on the line of succession, but his ego is bloated and insurmountable. And so he brings his mouth to Kanon's and kisses him hard enough that he's certain to taste Schneizel on those lips, which is terrible but irrelevant to his endgame as he pushes up against him.

He prolongs the urgency. For all that Schneizel might surpass him in, thwarting him time and time again, he will never go beyond his despair. Then Lelouch bites Kanon's mouth for the sheer audacity of it, bruising his lips from the pressure alone. ]