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027 » I ain't looking up lyrics but I'll keep your numbering scheme

[What a way to start a trip. Ignis tends to be the prepared type, but even he didn't expect a car as well taken care of as the Regalia to break down on the short drive to Hammerhead! In retrospect, he should have taken the age of the car and the level of dust and debris on the road into account. Better now than later, he supposes. With what Cid is charging them, he expects for the repairs to keep the car in good shape for quite some time to come.

After some haggling and some dirty, dusty odd jobs, the group manages to scrape together enough money for accommodations for the night. Gladio kept suggesting camping, but everyone else wanted real beds after pushing the car along for miles — and more importantly, plumbing. After getting washed up Ignis can be found at the sink in the caravan, meticulously hand washing everyone's clothing due to the lack of a proper washer. Instead of his usual more fashionable attire he's dressed head to toe in plain black. If he's going to have to dirty a second pair of clothes today, he's choosing something suited to a colder environment since he'll be unlikely to wear it for the rest of their trip. Gladio and Noctis have already washed up and wandered off to window shop and eat at the cafe, so at least he doesn't feel crowded while he's trying to complete his chores.

Ah, it sounds like Prompto just finished his shower.]

Just put your clothing in the basket right there, Prompto, [he says evenly.]

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[the truth is, prompto hates showering last. he hates used showers in general. it's got nothing to do with his road trip boys — it's just that it feels gross to step into a bathtub that's already clammy with water. but he doesn't complain about it, and, anyway, even he knows that he tends to sweat less than the other guys, for a variety of different reasons.

prompto exits the bathroom wearing sweatpants and another sleeveless top from his seemingly endless supply of sleeveless tops. not long ago, he used to anxiously ask ignis, every time, if he wanted any help; now, however, he's gotten more used to the sight of ignis dutifully cleaning up after the rest of them, and just casually slings his clothes into ignis's basket.

he pauses at the sight of ignis — all buttoned up in his high-collared shirt — and then he laughs.]

Iggy, what are you wearing? Don't you have that white shirt?

[The laughter doesn't come as a surprise. Gladio had teased him as well. He knows that this clothing isn't suited to such a hot environment, but he packed it anyway because nights by the sea can get chilly. Better prepared than not. He turns his head to look over his shoulder, faintly amused.]

I do indeed, but I suspect I'll have cause to wear it soon enough. There was no point in dirtying a second set of clothes I might have need of shortly, especially since I don't know when I may get to do laundry next. It's too hot to wear these outdoors currently, so they'll do for now.

[They're not that bad with the sleeves cuffed to do the washing, anyway.]

[well, ignis looks much less nerdy with the sleeves cuffed to show his powerful forearms, true. he looks a bit like... a chef? no, more like...]

I mean, I guess that makes sense, but, man... you look like a priest.

[Now that pulls a proper laugh from him. It's not as if Ignis makes any secret of what he is, but he doesn't make a show of it either so he's not surprised that Prompto doesn't know. It's possible that only Noctis is aware, and he likely wouldn't bother announcing it — to Noctis, everything about Ignis is a given: his presence, his service, his devotion to both the prince and the Astrals. None of it is worth commenting on. Still, it's funny to hear Prompto say "you look like a priest" in a tone that clearly highlights how ridiculous he thinks the idea is. He dries his hands, leaving Gladio's shirt to soak as he turns toward Prompto fully.]

That would be because I am.

...You what?

[prompto's smile falls flat into a confused stare, wondering if he perhaps misheard.]

Wait... wait, you're a priest?

Is that really so surprising? A religious man makes for a perfect attendant to Lucian royalty.

[Just look at him, he's so bewildered. Ignis can't help but tease a bit! He walks over to the younger man and claps a hand on his shoulder.]

Never fear, I'll not be judging you for the sinful gazes you were giving Miss Cindy earlier.

I — w-well, I don't go to ch — uh —

[maybe it's not. the best. idea. to tell your priest friend that you don't go to church. prompto feels himself uncomfortably reddening, even though there's not really anything worth being embarrassed about. his shoulder seems to cringe under ignis's palm.]

...You're really a priest? Like — like, an actual priest? If I asked you to bless something, you could do it?!

[He'll have mercy and not torment the poor thing further. His hand slides away, resting at his side once more.]

Depending on what you wanted me to bless, yes. Something like blessing water would be simple enough. I'm afraid that permanently blessing weapons would require more strength than I possess, though. At most I could temporarily imbue them.

[He's been working on something to that effect anyway, not just with holy power but by utilizing the elemental magic the connection with Noctis provides him. The spells Noctis is capable of creating are quite powerful, but in an actual battle he imagines they could get messy quickly. Being able to strike at an enemy's weakness with an imbued weapon could be extremely useful.]

So you're really a priest!

[an exclamation this time, and not a question. prompto gapes at ignis, hands comically locked in mid-air. he's... he's conflicted. how long have the others known? why didn't they tell him? (was he being left out?)

more importantly, has he ever offended ignis by being so irreverent about the gods?]

I... dude. How does that work? Did you have to pass, uh, priest exams? Wait, how long have you been a priest? I'm so confused...

I attended seminary after completing compulsory education. His Highness was still in high school at the time, so it didn't interfere with my duties.

[And since Noctis insisted on having his own apartment because he wanted to act like a big boy (a big boy that still needed mama Ignis to come clean up after him), he had some extra time.]

I finished roughly when you two graduated, so it's only been a couple years yet.

[He leans back, studying Prompto for a moment or two before saying:]

You look as if I've just told you that I'm an assassin, not a priest.

[with a dry laugh:] Assassin would kind of make a lot more sense!

[not that ignis being a priest doesn't make sense, but the assassin angle would explain why he's so good with knives and daggers. prompto scratches his head.]

I dunno, I just... I always thought priests were like, fogey old guys. You're... kind of too cool to be a priest? And now I feel like I have to question myself. Reexamine my sins, you know, "Prompto, what have you done," and stuff...

[Priests in a world full of daemons need to know how to fight! Ignis does perhaps take it a bit further than most, but being worthy of looking after a prince means that all his skills must be as sharp as his blades.]

Priests do not spring from the aether balding and wrinkled, Prompto. Everyone is young once.

[It's true that many don't take their vows at such a young age. Ignis has his reasons, though. He moves to sit on the couch, patting the spot beside him in an effort to get Prompto to sit down and relax a little.]

Please don't feel that you have to change yourself to suit my sensibilities. I don't expect that of anyone. I would prefer it if you continued to just be yourself.

[prompto follows ignis to the couch before he's even really thought about it, flopping down onto the couch like an obedient dog.]

I... just feel like I should have known. [he laughs awkwardly.] But I guess I know now?

[he looks over at ignis in profile, as if seeing him all over again. he really does look like a priest in that collared shirt. if he just wore his silver necklace over the shirt rather than under it, it'd be perfect...]

Um... do you mind if I ask more questions? [as tentative as that is, even prompto knows that ignis is hardly the sort to say no.] Is this, uh, a family thing, or...?

If I'd known that it was important to you, I would have mentioned it. I suppose to me it simply is, so I don't really think about it.

[He uncuffs his sleeves and rolls them back down now that they aren't in danger of getting wet, politely pretending he doesn't notice Prompto looking at him so intently. Since he doesn't go to church (which Ignis already knew of course, he did a little research on Prompto when he became such close friends with Noctis) he imagines that he's never actually seen a priest before. That would account for his curiosity and the mistaken impression that priests are all "old fogeys".]

It was a personal choice, not a family tradition. Considering my position, it simply made sense. Being in the priesthood couldn't be a family tradition anyway seeing as celibacy is part of our vows.

Wait... you have to be celibate?

[for real?! prompto gapes in horror.]

You — you can't have sex?

[Such an overreaction from someone who has most assuredly never had sex himself! Ignis starts to laugh, but he covers it smoothly by clearing his throat like he's slightly affronted instead.]

That is the definition of celibacy, yes.

[And considering his feelings for the prince he tends to, it's really for the best.]

[look, the point that he's never had sex isn't relevant here! prompto's just amazed that this even has to matter. it's the principle of the thing. it's not about having sex, it's — it's about pleasure? fun? happiness?]

So can you, you know...

[he looks around as if someone might be listening in.]

...can you beat it?

[That —

That is really a question he should have expected considering Prompto is really out of his teenage years, isn't it? Ignis pushes up his glasses and looks away, actually somewhat uncomfortable this time.]

The point of religious celibacy is not simply to avoid having sex with other people, it is to abstain and show self control. So no, I cannot... beat it.

[the look of purest concern writ all over prompto's face seems like it would be better reserved for some heated moment in battle, with the both of them on the brink of death.

instead... he's just concerned, as a friend, that ignis has never known the pleasures of masturbation.

he very nearly says something like that's ridiculous, but fortunately, he knows better than to be so impolite. instead, he just... frowns at ignis like he's trying to solve some great mystery.]

You... can't. Okay.

[a pause.]

How far does this go?

[After taking a moment to compose himself he looks to Prompto again, just as stoic as ever. It's a good thing too, because apparently the man is absolutely fixated on this single point. Why this out of everything he could ask about... well, sex can be consuming. That is the reason for the vows, after all.]

I'm not quite certain what you mean. I think it's fairly straightforward, isn't it?

No, I mean... I don't know... are you allowed to get hard? I mean, that happens, sometimes, right? You can't do anything about it — wait, are you allowed to think about stuff that turns you on as long as you don't jerk off to it? And what if someone else has a fantasy about you? Are you allowed to be attracted to people in general, or hug them or kiss them...

[he's. rambling. none of this really makes any sense. he bites his lip, a little worried that he's overstepped his boundaries — he seems to shrink into himself on the couch.]

...Sorry, by the way, if this is rude. This is just... something I don't really know anything about?

[This is very personal indeed, but he knows if he doesn't answer Prompto is just going to be thinking about it at random times. That thought is worse than working past the awkwardness to just tell him — imagining Prompto looking over from the passenger's seat wondering "is he allowed to get hard?" is unbearable.]

As I said, the point is to exercise self control, so I am allowed to be aroused. It would be impossible to never have those feelings. I try to avoid putting myself in that state in the first place though. Obviously, it's uncomfortable.

[Kind of like this conversation, but at least Prompto seems aware of that fact. He lets out a small sigh.]

Kissing and hugging is fine. Banning expressions of love that can be entirely chaste would be quite silly.

Oh, so...

[as irreverent and ridiculous as prompto is, even he can't stop his voice from softening into something almost romantic when he says:]

You're allowed to be in love.

[While Ignis doesn't quite take on the same dreamy tone, some of the stiffness does drain out of him. He leans back into the couch, smiling to himself a little.]

Yes, I am. Love is a beautiful thing; the church would never discourage that.

[prompto relaxes, too, melting into an easy laugh as he throws one arm over the back of the sofa and balances one leg over his knee.]

That's good! That's good. I guess I was just... worried that you'd be lonely or something?

[he laughs.]

Sorry. I know that was weird.

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