[ He's been such a good boy ever since that business with the drug concluded. Soft, sweet, angelic, obedient — the Yoze that Ivan has always known, except now, he's not appeased until he's had his nightly hug, and gotten to linger in his father's embrace.
But it's not such a bad thing, is it, for a boy to be fond of his father? Particularly when he's only a "father" in the religious sense; particularly when Ivan is his "father" in a way where Yoze has always known that he doesn't have real parents and Ivan is something closer to his savior instead. If not for Ivan, Yoze would have become a vagrant child with nowhere to go after the orphanage shuttered its doors and the sisters moved away. If not for Ivan, Yoze would, realistically, be dead.
So he's always tried. To be the best, most attentive child that he can be. He's always wanted to be good for Ivan, and even now, in the wake of that night of pleasure, that hasn't changed. He's still the same soft-hearted boy as always, cleaning and cooking and minding house while Ivan works the field and tends to the concerns of the commonfolk.
Today, he is helping Ivan with the farm — partly, anyway. The raspberry harvest came in earlier than expected, so Yoze has had to rush to prepare a variety of pies and jams. The preserves, perhaps, they'll be able to sell at market in town; the young wives of the village will love it, given that, unlike Yoze, they are often too busy minding their small children to bother with things like jam.
And so, Yoze has gone to find Ivan in the field, carrying a tiny little plate upon which he's set a slice of bread already blanketed in a thick layer of sweet raspberry paste on top. The plate, of course, he'll take back in once Ivan is done — but the good pastor can't be seen with crumbs all over his fine robes! ]
Father Ivan! Are you tired? I brought you a little snack.
[ Nothing too indulgent, of course. Ivan lives such a modest life; he eats simple meals and prefers simple preparations. But a bit of jam on bread — that's as good as a decadent cake to him. ]
[ By all appearances, their life together has settled into peaceful normalcy, and the days and nights pass as they should. Yoze seems content, reassured, happy simply to embrace before they retreat to bed. He is a good boy, as he has always been, listening to his father, obeying. Ivan makes a point of praising him whenever rewarding Yoze with his recognition is in order. There are no more misunderstandings.
By all appearances, the incident involving the aphrodisiac is firmly and permanently a closed chapter of Yoze's education.
They attend to their daily tasks, as if that night, a secret put behind them, has had the sole outcome of laying to rest the longing to which Yoze confessed in his innocent ignorance. And yet, from time to time, Ivan questions his continued decision to withhold parts of himself from Yoze, those transgressions that led him to maintain a certain distance as the boy grew into a man. In the name of raising Yoze well, as his father, in his role as a pastor — all such justifications could never cleanse the damning impurities from his own soul. Is it another mistake to act as though all is as it ought to be, his duty done?
The farm keeps Ivan's hands occupied. The village has his ear and his guidance.
And today, too, Yoze seems happy. His arrival draws Ivan out of his musings amidst the repetitive motions of tilling the field; the pastor turns to take in the sight of Yoze there, plate in hand to present him with a generous helping of the raspberry jam that the boy has been preparing. A good, thoughtful child, ever eager to please. ]
Thank you, Yoze. It looks delicious.
[ These hours of physical labor are taxing even for a man accustomed to the work, but they are a welcome necessity. All the same, now that the activity has halted, Ivan considers that it may be time to see to it that Yoze isn't neglected, either. He beckons the boy closer, gestures for him to follow. ]
Why don't we share it? Tell me about your day while we eat your snack together.
[ Ivan's heart may be at peace with what has transpired, but Yoze's most certainly is not! As always, ever since their night of passion was concluded, when Yoze gets closer to Ivan he feels his heart stir and flutter again in excitement. Ah, his father is truly the most handsome, the most beautiful man in the world, so full of wisdom and patience... even now, he inquires after Yoze's day, to check in on him and make sure he's happy...
Who wouldn't be happy, to receive of such affection, to have one's attentions returned? Yoze feels as though he's floating on the air as he obediently follows his beloved mentor towards a shadier part of the field. ]
Yes! Well, it hasn't been so eventful... I went into the market to purchase some things we can't make ourselves on the farm, and old Aunt Maria lured me into conversation as I was picking out a new rucksack for you...
[ Only because Ivan used his last bag to the point of the straps breaking, and by then the bag itself had grown too worn to consider mending. Even for goodly, humble men like themselves, sometimes it is necessary to simply buy something new. Ivan goes on, smiling: ]
She asked me if any of the girls in the village had caught my eye... Isn't that funny?
no subject
But it's not such a bad thing, is it, for a boy to be fond of his father? Particularly when he's only a "father" in the religious sense; particularly when Ivan is his "father" in a way where Yoze has always known that he doesn't have real parents and Ivan is something closer to his savior instead. If not for Ivan, Yoze would have become a vagrant child with nowhere to go after the orphanage shuttered its doors and the sisters moved away. If not for Ivan, Yoze would, realistically, be dead.
So he's always tried. To be the best, most attentive child that he can be. He's always wanted to be good for Ivan, and even now, in the wake of that night of pleasure, that hasn't changed. He's still the same soft-hearted boy as always, cleaning and cooking and minding house while Ivan works the field and tends to the concerns of the commonfolk.
Today, he is helping Ivan with the farm — partly, anyway. The raspberry harvest came in earlier than expected, so Yoze has had to rush to prepare a variety of pies and jams. The preserves, perhaps, they'll be able to sell at market in town; the young wives of the village will love it, given that, unlike Yoze, they are often too busy minding their small children to bother with things like jam.
And so, Yoze has gone to find Ivan in the field, carrying a tiny little plate upon which he's set a slice of bread already blanketed in a thick layer of sweet raspberry paste on top. The plate, of course, he'll take back in once Ivan is done — but the good pastor can't be seen with crumbs all over his fine robes! ]
Father Ivan! Are you tired? I brought you a little snack.
[ Nothing too indulgent, of course. Ivan lives such a modest life; he eats simple meals and prefers simple preparations. But a bit of jam on bread — that's as good as a decadent cake to him. ]
no subject
By all appearances, the incident involving the aphrodisiac is firmly and permanently a closed chapter of Yoze's education.
They attend to their daily tasks, as if that night, a secret put behind them, has had the sole outcome of laying to rest the longing to which Yoze confessed in his innocent ignorance. And yet, from time to time, Ivan questions his continued decision to withhold parts of himself from Yoze, those transgressions that led him to maintain a certain distance as the boy grew into a man. In the name of raising Yoze well, as his father, in his role as a pastor — all such justifications could never cleanse the damning impurities from his own soul. Is it another mistake to act as though all is as it ought to be, his duty done?
The farm keeps Ivan's hands occupied. The village has his ear and his guidance.
And today, too, Yoze seems happy. His arrival draws Ivan out of his musings amidst the repetitive motions of tilling the field; the pastor turns to take in the sight of Yoze there, plate in hand to present him with a generous helping of the raspberry jam that the boy has been preparing. A good, thoughtful child, ever eager to please. ]
Thank you, Yoze. It looks delicious.
[ These hours of physical labor are taxing even for a man accustomed to the work, but they are a welcome necessity. All the same, now that the activity has halted, Ivan considers that it may be time to see to it that Yoze isn't neglected, either. He beckons the boy closer, gestures for him to follow. ]
Why don't we share it? Tell me about your day while we eat your snack together.
no subject
Who wouldn't be happy, to receive of such affection, to have one's attentions returned? Yoze feels as though he's floating on the air as he obediently follows his beloved mentor towards a shadier part of the field. ]
Yes! Well, it hasn't been so eventful... I went into the market to purchase some things we can't make ourselves on the farm, and old Aunt Maria lured me into conversation as I was picking out a new rucksack for you...
[ Only because Ivan used his last bag to the point of the straps breaking, and by then the bag itself had grown too worn to consider mending. Even for goodly, humble men like themselves, sometimes it is necessary to simply buy something new. Ivan goes on, smiling: ]
She asked me if any of the girls in the village had caught my eye... Isn't that funny?