139 » falling into your ocean eyes

[ironwind]

[The gods of Celestia have fallen, and all is right with the world.

Aether and Lumine are the new gods of Teyvat now.

It's the sort of thing that he should be happy about, but the way he feels hasn't really come into it yet. For the time being, they haven't yet reshaped the world to suit their ambitions, if only because there are too many bits and bobs to sort out before changes are made. Visions and Gnoses run on Celestia's power, but Lumine has not yet erased them for the widespread chaos that revoking them would cause. The false sky is still in place for the same reason; people would panic if they knew what lay beyond the blue skies. And the barrier between the abyss below and the paradise above has been destroyed — but Aether's own abyssal forces have not even dared to breach the former border they so long dreamt of tearing down.

What would we do beneath Celestia's sun, my liege? they ask him, in their defeated, half-envious tones. We have no need now to walk in the light.

(Is he happy? Yes — or maybe no. It's hard to tell. There's relief, certainly, that his long journey is finally over. Relief that he can finally rest — that the great injustice of the world has finally been addressed. He should have never doubted that Lumine, perfect, beautiful Lumine, would be the one to see it through to its end at long last. And yet — even though he loves his sister more than anything else in all the worlds — how typical, that she was the one to save this world. How typical, that in the end, he accomplished nothing, and she changed everything.)

The thing he can't get over is this: in the siege against Celestia, when everything was crumbling to pieces beneath their heels, Aether, his wings tattered, fell off the edge — and Dainsleif dove off the edge to save him.

Dainsleif dove off the edge to save him, and then there had been a rush of wind and gravity and — and the only thing Aether had been able to see was the blood and the shaft of light jutting out from beneath Dainsleif's ribs as one of Celestia's archers cruelly aimed a second arrow and fired at her target again.

He's alive now, but barely. Four of Lumine's companions had to help stitch him together with their healing magic, and even then it was touch-and-go. Aether hasn't left Dainsleif's side, in all the time it's taken for him to recover. They tried to dissuade him at first — told him to get some rest of his own — but now they don't bother. Aether's silent vigil over Dainsleif is the one war he still wants to wage.

It's a good thing that Dainsleif hasn't woken, the once and former prince of the Abyss thinks. He wouldn't even know how to react if Dain's eyes opened. Good morning and I'm sorry are two of the most honest things he wants to say, but an apology won't fix the hundreds of years he spent pushing Dainsleif away. The more he looks at Dainsleif's closed eyes, watches the slow, weak rise and fall of his chest, the more he realizes that the gap between them might now be impossible to breach.

More than anything, he wishes that it didn't have to come to this. He wishes that their journey together had never come to an end. In those days, he only ever had to wonder when Lumine would wake from her slumber and how to make Dainsleif laugh, but now they're long gone, and he is a different person.]

You really are a fool.

[There it is, that cold, pained voice that's plagued Aether ever since he looked upon the plight of those forsaken by Teyvat and cast into the dark sea below. The traveler's tone softens, his hand squeezes Dainsleif's as it lays unmoving upon the bed, and he buries his face into the man's chest, just barely avoiding the gauze wrapped about his ribs.

His voice is soft in a way that he hasn't been for a long, long time.]

...You're such an idiot, Dain.

Comments

[carceral]

[ it all happened in a blink of an eye.

the final battle against Celestia and its gods was relentless and merciless. neither side was coming out of it completely unscathed and without many tragic losses, but that wasn't what Dainsleif concerned himself with. instead, he focused on what the Abyss Prince was doing, kept track of his movements to make sure if there was any opening, any at all, then he would take it—

he just never thought it would end up like this.

with the both of them falling off the edge, relying on his magic to keep Aether safe. nevermind the sharp pain and blood that clouded his vision moments later. as long as the last thing he saw was that Aether was fine, that he was barely hurt, then that was all that mattered in the end.

(if his story had to end right here and there, then at least he did one thing right.)

what he doesn't expect is to be caught in a myriad of aimless dreams. they appear to make neither rhyme nor reason, a collage of things that have happened to him in the past — all the way back to better days and bad days, with not a whole lot left to be filled in by the blanks. he dreams about Khaenri'ah, about the Eclipse Dynasty he once served, about what a dutiful knight he used to be, and...

he dreams about Aether too.

when Aether used to smile at him, when Aether used to laugh at his bad attempts of humour, when Aether used to trust him and wouldn't look at him as though he was the last person he wanted to see.

You really are a fool.

harsh words, he remembers them well, but what he can never get over was how much heartache was hidden between the lines. it always made him wonder: what if? what if Aether was hurting just as much as he is? it's the reason why he never gave up on him, no matter what, the reason why he followed him off the edge and cradled his body close, protected him from both the fall and the sharp pierce of Celestia's arrow. ]

—Aether.

[ he breathes, almost like a prayer, please be safe, and then the waking world slowly comes knocking.

his eyes are the first thing to show signs of coming to life, twitching as they flutter open. everything is a hazy blur that gradually comes into focus, not that it helps with reorienting himself as to where he is now. the soft pillows and mattress underneath him does nothing to protect him from the ache he feels all over. it's hard to breathe sometimes, but he does his best to power through it, knows it'll be over for him if his lungs gave up now.

the last thing he realizes... is the weight on his chest. the hand clinging tightly to his own. he tries to focus on who it could be and then it dawns on him.

he says the only thing he can think of, nevermind how weak his voice sounds. ]

... I'm glad you're safe.

[ironwind]

Dain!

[Aether jolts upwards, sitting up instantly and rigidly in his seat as his eyes turn wide with worry. A thousand different memories flash before Aether's eyes as the sound of Dainsleif's low voice reaches his ears, familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time — when did Dain ever sound that weak, that fragile? Even in all the time that he thought he hated Dain, even through all the times they'd clashed blades and Dain had begged him to reconsider what he was doing — when did Dain ever sound that close to slipping away?]

Dain — you're — [it feels stupid to say this, but he genuinely wasn't sure if Dain would make it] — you're alive.

[Aether's voice shakes. His lip trembles more than he wants to admit it does. His eyes are filmy with tears he'd rather not admit to or acknowledge.]

You're alive... I was so worried...

[Another breathed sigh of relief, a furrowing of his brows. He relaxes his grip on Dain's hand somewhat, wanting to be gentler. Slowly, carefully, he laces their fingers together instead.]

I didn't know what I'd do if you'd...

[It all feels so absurd. Not long ago, he himself ordered his own forces to stop Dainsleif by any means necessary. And yet, looking into the catlike slits of Dain's barely opened eyes, Aether can't feel anything like hatred any more.]

[carceral]

[ there is so much that the two of them could say to each other right here and now. the lines in the sand are no longer visible, and nothing stops them from sharing the truth they'd held onto despite the separate paths they took to arrive here, but Dainsleif chooses to ignore the urge to breach that topic right now. somehow, with Aether on the verge of tears, it doesn't seem to matter all that much anymore.

with one hand laced together with Aether's, the other reaches up slowly to wipe the other's tears away, always so gentle, always so mindful. it might be hard for him to do so right now because of the pain but he manages a small smile, faint as though it may be. ]

I've told you before... I'll always find my way back to you.

[ it was a promise made many centuries ago, but one Dainsleif was determined to keep no matter what happened. it's why he never stopped chasing after Aether, why he never stopped reaching out to him despite how many times the Abyss Prince had refused him in every way possible. it didn't matter how much it hurt, how lonely he must have felt back then, because he knows, deep down, that Aether was more than likely hurting too, and because of that, he never wanted to let him go.

after a while, it becomes difficult to keep his hand up, at least the one making sure that Aether is no longer crying, so eventually he lets it fall back onto the mattress, breathing in slow and deep. he wonders if he even has the energy to keep up a normal conversation but a part of him wants to try regardless, since it's been so long. ]

How are you feeling otherwise? Are you hurt anywhere?

[ leave it to Dainsleif to worry about others instead of himself. ]

[ironwind]

[I'll always find my way back to you. That old promise, dredged up from the depths of their shared past — it makes Aether's gaze fill with pain and regret for the man that he's been — for the way he's treated Dainsleif, all this time. His thumb caresses the man's knuckles incessantly, as if in some vain attempt to make up for all the years he's spent turning his back on Dain. And yet, despite all those years, here he is: the Twilight Sword, loyal to the last.]

Of course not. After the stunt you pulled? I couldn't... couldn't possibly...

[Words are failing him for the first time in centuries. He wants to say a thousand different things. He's sorry, for one thing. He's grateful that Dain is still alive, for another thing. He has his sister to thank for everything, probably.

There's too much going on in his heart for him to remember what he was going to say. Heart aching, as gently as he can manage it, Aether leans forward and presses his lips against Dainsleif's in the most delicate kiss he can manage for a man who is injured and perhaps not entirely off death's doorstep.

He doesn't linger for too long; he doesn't want to steal any more of Dainsleif's breath than he has to, given his current condition. But when he pulls back, the tender look on the former traveler's face — that says more than his words ever could.]

...I had to see you again.

[There's a faint emphasis in it, as if an alternative simply would have not been acceptable to him. He draws back a little — just enough to look at the beautiful stars in Dainsleif's eyes.]

I had to... do that.

the way i still need to do the new archon quest

[carceral]

[ the kiss feels fragile, fleeting, as if Dainsleif can make one wrong move and that would be enough to shatter this moment. he doesn't realize he'd held his own breath until Aether finally pulls away, telling him that he had to see him again, a soft exhale escaping him once the other is looking at him with all the adoration and fondness that has accumulated from their time apart. ]

Aether—

[ he's called out Aether's name so many times, and yet none sound as breathless and wavering as it does now. the uncertainty is still there, too used to how often the former Abyss Price would turn his back on him that he'd come to accept that as part of a reality, but now—

without thinking, without worrying about how much this is going to hurt, Dainsleif forces himself upright, both arms reaching forward to pull Aether closer to him until he can finally, finally, hold the other man in his arms again. his grip remains weak but that doesn't stop him from shaking so terribly. part of it is likely because of the sharp pain, but the fear of losing the chance to hold Aether like this is just as much to blame. ]

Aether... [ there he goes again, but quieter this time. ] I've missed you so.

[ it feels like forever ago since the last time Dainsleif was able to be honest with him, and now that the moment is finally here, he wants Aether to know what's been on his mind for the last hundreds of years. ]

I have no intentions of leaving you. I promise you that.

[ if there's one thing he's good for, at the very least, it's keeping promises such as this one. ]

it's ok i also took forever to do it --

[ironwind]

[Dain's grip is weaker than Aether remembers it, but the cradle of his arms and the weight of them on his shoulders — all of that is terribly, terribly familiar. He wraps his arms around Dain in return, trying to be gentle, though he himself is holding on for dear life, as though he's afraid that the angels of Celestia will return to tear them apart.]

I've been such a fool for so long. [A shuddering, shaking breath.] I've been so naïve.

[Talking about it at last makes it easier to talk about. It's paradoxical, circular logic, but somehow it's true. Aether's been keeping it all back, trying to swallow it for the sake of the man holding him like the most precious treasure in the world, but now it's spilling out, and he can't stop talking now that he's started. He buries his face in Dainsleif's chest, breathing the man in for the first time in centuries, trying so hard to be gentle for the way he knows that Dain still hurts, that he's still in pain.]

I wanted to save you — I wanted to save everyone — [choked laughter] — but instead, I just pushed you away. And for what? For what...

[The tremble of his voice is giving him away. He keeps trying to blink back his tears, but they spill over his cheeks like so much seawater in a sinking ship.]

I could have spent the last five hundred years with you at my side. But I wanted, so badly, for there to be a happy ending...

[He shakes his head.]

It took Lumine to bring us that... but... but I have you now. [Another kiss, this one tinged with the salt of his tears, but nothing in the world could tear him away from Dain now.] I'm so sorry, Dain. I've been so horrible to you.

it was so good aaaaa

[carceral]

[ when Aether clings to him, Dainsleif can only tighten his grip. it's a reassurance for both of them that he's here and he doesn't plan on going anywhere, no matter what happens. no matter how much it hurts. ]

You weren't the only one to blame. I was just as much of a fool.

[ at some point, Dainsleif thought of Aether as foolish. stubborn. the two of them stopped seeing eye to eye before they ever made it to the end of their journey, and as the years passed, the former Twilight Sword couldn't reconcile their differences with the reality he had to live with, which only made his resentment grow worse. despite that, he remained determined to chase after Aether no matter where the Abyss Order went, but it always went nowhere.

their chance meetings never led them to achieve the same closeness they once did.

he savours the kiss just long enough, and then he pulls back just enough to let himself wipe Aether's tears away. he treats Aether as if he's the one gravely injured instead of the other way around, but something tells him the other is feeling just as fragile as he is. ]

You don't have to apologize for anything. You've always... You went with what you thought was the best option, so I can't fault you for that.

[ he plants a soft kiss at the top of Aether's head, his lips lingering right there. it's been too long since he was able to do this so freely, he realizes. ]

All that matters is that it's over now, and that you're alright. You haven't lost me— so we can move forward from here.

[ together, he says quietly, because neither of them are alone anymore. ]

[ironwind]

...I'm so sorry.

[Aether says this again, but there's a different tone to it this time. It's not as though he can just forgive himself in an instant, even with Dainsleif's encouragement — but he accepts that he can work his way toward self-forgiveness. If that means he has to give Dainsleif five hundred years of bliss to make up for the way they failed each other, then so be it. That's a kinder punishment than he deserves.

Perhaps that's enough for now, then. Dainsleif's soft kisses linger atop his head, and Aether's eyes droop despite himself. He suddenly realizes that he's been tired for too many long hours; he's refused to rest since Dainsleif was first dragged to the healers for treatment, and his exhaustion is catching up with him. Another shuddering breath, a sigh, and Aether relaxes where he's lying by Dainsleif's side.]

I won't ever let you go. [A long, slow breath, as if he wants Dainsleif so deeply that he'll inhale him and drink him down, too.] I won't... I'll never...

[He loves Dainsleif. He knows that now.

Is that the kind of thing that he has to say out loud? Maybe he ought to say it, but he doesn't feel as if he should. He isn't certain that he deserves to be able to say it. But he cradles Dainsleif against his body, presses himself as close to Dain as he possibly can, and in the moment, he doesn't want to let go.

...It's comfortable, like this. It's nice to just let emotion wash over him, to sink into the familiar comfort of an embrace he's denied himself for five hundred years. Clinging to Dainsleif's waist, Aether closes his eyes.]

...I have you now. And you have me.

[Yes, that's good. That sounds like comfort.]

Tomorrow... Let's do something we haven't done in a long time.

[carceral]

[ Aether curls up next time like so many times he'd done before. it feels a lot like coming home, like a hopeful dream he'd been holding onto for the past five hundred years finally coming true. it never occured to Dainsleif just how much he would miss simple things such as this, a small gesture of comfort that he was forced to go without since they both went their separate ways. his arms tighten their embrace around Aether's smaller frame, marveling at how it all feels so fragile.

maybe it's because a part of him isn't convinced that this is really happening. he's been asleep for so long, and this may just as well be a scene from one of his many dreams, but — he hears every single little thing Aether tells him. he feels how solid and warm Aether is against his touch. he knows about all the words that are left unspoken.

he pulls the other close to him, tucking his head underneath his chin. this way, he can protect him from anything that will dare rob them of this moment of peace. ]

What do you have in mind?

[ tomorrow, Aether said, and Dainsleif accepts it as the promise it's meant to be. starting tomorrow, and forever more, they'll be together from here on out. ]

We have all the time in the world to make up for what we've lost along the way. I wouldn't mind taking it slow.

[ after all, both of them finally have the chance to rest. why not take advantage of that for the time being? ]

[ironwind]

[Aether hums in response, a soft little hmm that sounds faintly like a laugh. He gets more comfortable, one arm draped over the narrow point where Dain's ribcage meets his waist, careful not to disturb the gauze wrappings of his bandages. It's a sound of acquiescence. Of agreement. Yes, they should take things slow.]

We won't do anything complicated...

[His other hand leisurely teases the feathery-soft ends of Dain's short hair for a few moments before it stills. They don't have to do anything in the moment. It would be good just to stay here, to indulge in the other, to know that neither Celestia nor the curse of Khaenri'ah will ever tear them apart ever again.]

What I mean is... Let's stay in bed all day. And when you're hungry... I'll make you something that you really like to eat.

[Little things. Simple things like that, which they haven't done in years.]

[carceral]

[ the little things are what mattered more to Dainsleif when they were still together, because it was often those times when the two of them could just be themselves without the burden of expectations and duty. they aren't the Bough Keeper nor the former Abyss Prince right here and now. he is only Dainsleif, just a man who still loves and adores the star called Aether.

he leans into Aether's touch, allowing him to card his fingers through soft blond locks. while it's true that they don't have to do anything, that doesn't mean he isn't going to make it much easier to give Aether anything he wanted, even if it's something as simple as making himself more accessible to simple touches and gestures like this one. ]

As long as I have you in my arms, where we spend the day doesn't matter as much to me.

[ he plants a soft kiss right at the top of Aether's head before tightening his embrace. ]

... I might be craving some roast pork and eggs.

[ if Aether still remembers, that one time they spent at Springvale, so very long ago. ]

[ironwind]

[He remembers. He remembers it all too well, actually: the way they'd come in from the rain and sat down together, and he, secretly, had spent the whole meal staring at Dain in what he thought was surreptitious curiosity. Recalling it now makes a broad smile creep over his face, and it's a relief, almost, to think that even after this long, he hasn't forgotten how to smile.]

...We can arrange that. The boars might not be as delicious as they used to be, though.

[Because... didn't they go extinct? ...Well, a trip to Dragonspine to hunt for an old nostalgic flavor might not be such a bad idea. It's certainly not out of their reach, and even though there's a lot of rebuilding to do in the new Teyvat, Aether has the feeling that Lumine met let the two of them go their own way for now.

It's impossible for Aether to hold Dain any closer, and if he squeezes, he might aggravate the man's injuries, so he settles for nuzzling Dain's chest instead, like a cat. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to be so... so affectionate.]

It has to be a romantic dinner, though. With candles.

[Ah, this tired old thing...]