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110 » you hurt me for the last time
[Well, it's like this: one fine, sunny morning, Kaeya may find himself struck by the sudden mystery of how the Honorary Knight hasn't been seen in days.
That in itself wouldn't be so unusual if he'd gotten a new lead on his sister's whereabouts, of course. But even when the traveler is busy searching the mountains and marshes of Liyue for his missing sibling, he still manages to come back to Mondstadt eventually; their humble city seems to be where he most often lays his head to rest.
Sure, maybe it's arrogant for any place to lay claim to a wanderer — but Aether, in his subtle way, has seemed about as fond of Mondstadt as he can be of anywhere. It's not normal to have not seen him for so long. He's usually running from the plaza towards the Adventurer's Guild in the morning. Hours later, he might be seen at the alchemist's station, chatting with Timaeus while pressing Crystal Cores into Condensed Resin. In the evenings, one might look up to see him spreading azure wings across the starry sky, gliding from the top of the Favonius building down towards the Angel's Share.
None of that. It's been roughly three days.
So: the investigation proceeds as follows. Sara normally employs him as a delivery boy, but she hasn't seen him in a week. Marjorie has the best vantage point to notice any comings and goings in the city, but she last remembers seeing Aether four days ago. He was distracted, she claims; he came to ask her about a gift from Rudolf for Jilliana, but he'd oddly asked her to repeat several recommendations, as if he hadn't been paying attention to what she said. Rudolf remembers the interaction — remembers, too, that the traveler's cheeks had been oddly flushed, so much so that he wondered if Kaeya himself hadn't spoken to him beforehand. He doesn't know anything else. Dead end.
Some more inquiries have to be undertaken; by this point, a few are with Vile's help. Charles hasn't seen him, and neither have any of the local drunkards. Wagner normally sees the boy's business, but hasn't gotten any new requests in three days. Blanche would've seen him if he purchased any groceries from her, but she can't remember; a check of her receipts indicates that he bought some meat and produce two days ago. Interesting. So he has been in the city. A few well-placed words finally jog Sara's memory where she couldn't recall speaking with him in a week or so; she hasn't seen him buy anything at Blanche's across the way, but his fairy companion has dropped by to pick up a fully-cooked meal as recently as yesterday.
Yesterday. But not today?
That leads Kaeya, in a stroke of deductive genius, to Goth. As possibly the second-richest man in Mondstadt after Diluc himself, the landlord owns not only the Goth Grand Hotel, but a number of smaller properties, some of which he rents, and some of which he uses as bed-and-breakfasts. Sure enough, he agreed to rent one of his townhouses to the traveler four days ago, leasing it for a period of only two weeks. He hems and haws about the privacy of his tenants for a moment, but Kaeya's sly tongue and status in the community loosens his legal-mindedness soon enough.
At the address he's given, Paimon answers the door, looking shocked at first, and then sheepish.
"Sir Kaeya?!" she squeaks, her halo nearly flying off her head when she opens the door to find his one eye blinking back at her.
It doesn't take much for her to let him in, though, and she doesn't need to ask why he's there. The pixie seems somewhat dejected, herself. "Paimon told him he needed someone else here ages ago, but he kept saying he didn't need assistance," she explains glumly. "Of course Paimon offered to get Barbara, but he said she wouldn't be able to help... and he was still cooking for himself a little while ago, but now that he's too sick to get out of bed, Paimon doesn't know how to make his meals..."
She sighs, coming to a stop outside of what must be his bedroom. "Maybe you can talk to him. Paimon doesn't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but that's what you're good at, right? Making people want to do things?"
She does a loop-de-loop back toward the kitchen, leaving him to open Aether's door. The bedroom is furnished with the bare minimum, but Aether's there, red-cheeked and seemingly asleep. The covers are hovering loosely at his waist.
He's not in deep slumber, though. The traveler's eyes open, and he stares at Kaeya with bleary golden eyes, seemingly dazed and adrift.]
Mm... This dream again?
That in itself wouldn't be so unusual if he'd gotten a new lead on his sister's whereabouts, of course. But even when the traveler is busy searching the mountains and marshes of Liyue for his missing sibling, he still manages to come back to Mondstadt eventually; their humble city seems to be where he most often lays his head to rest.
Sure, maybe it's arrogant for any place to lay claim to a wanderer — but Aether, in his subtle way, has seemed about as fond of Mondstadt as he can be of anywhere. It's not normal to have not seen him for so long. He's usually running from the plaza towards the Adventurer's Guild in the morning. Hours later, he might be seen at the alchemist's station, chatting with Timaeus while pressing Crystal Cores into Condensed Resin. In the evenings, one might look up to see him spreading azure wings across the starry sky, gliding from the top of the Favonius building down towards the Angel's Share.
None of that. It's been roughly three days.
So: the investigation proceeds as follows. Sara normally employs him as a delivery boy, but she hasn't seen him in a week. Marjorie has the best vantage point to notice any comings and goings in the city, but she last remembers seeing Aether four days ago. He was distracted, she claims; he came to ask her about a gift from Rudolf for Jilliana, but he'd oddly asked her to repeat several recommendations, as if he hadn't been paying attention to what she said. Rudolf remembers the interaction — remembers, too, that the traveler's cheeks had been oddly flushed, so much so that he wondered if Kaeya himself hadn't spoken to him beforehand. He doesn't know anything else. Dead end.
Some more inquiries have to be undertaken; by this point, a few are with Vile's help. Charles hasn't seen him, and neither have any of the local drunkards. Wagner normally sees the boy's business, but hasn't gotten any new requests in three days. Blanche would've seen him if he purchased any groceries from her, but she can't remember; a check of her receipts indicates that he bought some meat and produce two days ago. Interesting. So he has been in the city. A few well-placed words finally jog Sara's memory where she couldn't recall speaking with him in a week or so; she hasn't seen him buy anything at Blanche's across the way, but his fairy companion has dropped by to pick up a fully-cooked meal as recently as yesterday.
Yesterday. But not today?
That leads Kaeya, in a stroke of deductive genius, to Goth. As possibly the second-richest man in Mondstadt after Diluc himself, the landlord owns not only the Goth Grand Hotel, but a number of smaller properties, some of which he rents, and some of which he uses as bed-and-breakfasts. Sure enough, he agreed to rent one of his townhouses to the traveler four days ago, leasing it for a period of only two weeks. He hems and haws about the privacy of his tenants for a moment, but Kaeya's sly tongue and status in the community loosens his legal-mindedness soon enough.
At the address he's given, Paimon answers the door, looking shocked at first, and then sheepish.
"Sir Kaeya?!" she squeaks, her halo nearly flying off her head when she opens the door to find his one eye blinking back at her.
It doesn't take much for her to let him in, though, and she doesn't need to ask why he's there. The pixie seems somewhat dejected, herself. "Paimon told him he needed someone else here ages ago, but he kept saying he didn't need assistance," she explains glumly. "Of course Paimon offered to get Barbara, but he said she wouldn't be able to help... and he was still cooking for himself a little while ago, but now that he's too sick to get out of bed, Paimon doesn't know how to make his meals..."
She sighs, coming to a stop outside of what must be his bedroom. "Maybe you can talk to him. Paimon doesn't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but that's what you're good at, right? Making people want to do things?"
She does a loop-de-loop back toward the kitchen, leaving him to open Aether's door. The bedroom is furnished with the bare minimum, but Aether's there, red-cheeked and seemingly asleep. The covers are hovering loosely at his waist.
He's not in deep slumber, though. The traveler's eyes open, and he stares at Kaeya with bleary golden eyes, seemingly dazed and adrift.]
Mm... This dream again?
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But only if he takes some kind of action.]
Paim...on? [The fairy is already gone. Damn. He had hoped she could at least be useful about bringing him water. Maybe the luck will hold and she will have thought of it already.
Aether's awake, though, which means he could be reasoned with. Kaeya comes further in, not hiding his concern, though it has to share space with a typical teasing smirk.]
So you've been dreaming about me visiting? It's nothing I haven't heard before, but I'm not sure I expected it from you, Aether.
[At least he's been recognized. Kaeya won't presume to sit down on Aether's bed when he's like this, but he draws pretty close. Aether shouldn't have to strain himself to focus on his face. All of the sly banter falls from his tone, leaving him serious, and uncompromising on getting an answer.]
How long have you felt this ill?
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A few days... It's not unusual. It happens sometimes...
[He rolls his arm on the mattress, tipping his hand palm-down to palm-up, as if implicitly asking for Kaeya's fingers to touch his own, though his eyes stay closed.]
When I come to a new place... if I stay too long, the local illnesses will catch up with me, so —
[He breaks into a coughing fit, one that sounds hollow and hoarse and rough, but it sounds worse than it feels; he falls back into his pillows with a bit of a wheeze. At least, by his statement, it doesn't sound like Kaeya needs to be worried about getting sick.]
...be okay...
[I'll be okay. You don't need to worry. It's hard not to worry, though, when his cheeks are so flushed someone heavy-handed could have dusted them with powder.]
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That's understandable. [And so normal that it's a little unsettling on the other side. People go new places and catch new sicknesses. Why should he think the traveler would be any different? But that cough sounded awful. Kaeya frees his hand.] But you should have let Paimon get you some help.
[For now, it isn't quite an admonishment. The need to take care of himself by himself isn't lost on Kaeya.
The gloves come off and his bare wrist rests against Aether's forehead, though anyone could see he has a fever without the formalities. His fingers trail gently through Aether's hair before he pulls away.]
If you can sit up, it might help keep you from coughing. [Kaeya will help, which he does not say, but he has a hand against Aether's shoulder. He's been sick often enough to remember a trick or three for staying a little less miserable.
And if he can't sit up, then Kaeya will go and fetch Barbara himself.]
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[Well, it's not as though he's never fallen asleep sitting up before — and he's certainly been guilty of sleeping in a tree, and at the base of a grassy knoll, and along the beach, and just one time, in the belfry of the cathedral — but he prefers to sleep with his head resting on a pillow if he can help it. All the more so when he's this sick, this doubled over with illness.
Still, it's easy to listen to the chiding chime of Kaeya's voice, the way it's so surprisingly soft even in the best of times, so Aether does as he's told, dazed but compliant. Kaeya's wrist feels deliciously cool against his skin; he almost wonders if the Cryo Vision has anything to do with it, but then he remembers that Diona has one too, and has never reported any such effects. He closes his eyes, and for a moment he looks more at peace.]
It's nothing for anyone to worry about. All of it will pass...
[He sounds confident, if so weak that the confidence comes off more like the ramblings of a delusional man. Still, if even rash, impulsive little Paimon chose to heed his words, maybe his protests were more vehement before he got this sick?
The little fairy chooses that moment to return, having correctly anticipated Kaeya's and Aether's needs: she's carrying a glass of water that's almost as big as she is, and it makes her flight path visibly heavy, but she manages to set it down on the bedside table despite her worried frown and the strain on her tiny limbs. "Will he be okay?" she asks — evidently, even she doesn't really know what to make of the situation. "Do you think we should call Barbara...?"
Aether shakes his head, interrupting the conversation though Paimon's left him out of it by her choice of words.]
I told you, I'll be fine. It has to get worse before it gets better...
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[Rather than curious, Kaeya sounds quite sly, though the question is legitimate. The expression "get worse before it gets better" is common enough, but there's always the uncertainty about whether Aether believes it. It would go hand in hand with him hiding away by himself until things pass.
He thanks Paimon for the water and reaches behind Aether to stack the pillows (at least Goth doesn't slack on providing for his tenants) so he could lie back.]
I wouldn't count out some professional help just yet. [Though it's an answer to Paimon, he directs it at both of them, and unlike diminutive fairies of cheer, Kaeya isn't about to put up with any protests.] You said he hasn't really eaten for a couple of days?
[Well. Since Aether is already sitting up. Kaeya hands him the water; he'll keep his own hand on the glass either until he's sure Aether isn't too shaky to hold it, or the whole time if his guess proves correct. Carefully, with more tenderness than he allows in his voice, Kaeya puts his other arm around Aether's back.
And he's warm. Whether or not it's the fault of the Vision, Kaeya likes to consider himself sensitive to such things. He fails to hold in a sigh. If Aether had gone to the church, or even to one of the alchemists - he's pretty friendly with the ones in the Knights? - this might have been avoidable.]
How much worse were you thinking of letting it get?
[Years of practice, of shifting the tones in his voice and the narrowness of his eye just so for the right piece of information to prise itself free, layer themselves over this question. He's still not, outright, censuring Aether for his misguided privacy. If anything, he sounds just a little worried, equally confused, and above all, curious about how Aether expects this illness to play out.]
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While Aether blinks a dazed rhythm in Kaeya's direction and his thoughts are all a-tumble, Paimon answers Kaeya's question, flitting sadly around the Cavalry Captain's head as though she's not sure she should disturb her companion in the middle of his odd waking reverie. "It's because Paimon can't cook," she sniffles, self-blaming. "Paimon tried, but all the cooking utensils in the house are too big! So he's only had an Apple and a Sunsettia today... and he didn't even finish the Sunsettia..."
There might have been one half of a clumsily sliced Sunsettia in the kitchen, but if Aether recalls the little orange slices on their plate, he doesn't speak of it. He simply shakes his head, sighing as he falls back against the pillows now stacked behind his head.]
I'm fine, I promise. It shouldn't kill me...
[Shouldn't, he says, as if that's not the key variable in this situation. Shouldn't, he says, in that odd, hollow tone, as if he knows that from experience, or maybe because someone else told him that, long, long ago. He lowers his gaze to his hands, squeezing the sheets between his fingers.]
I... didn't want anyone to have to see me like this.
[It's too hard to lie and dance around Kaeya's questions when the man's eye is narrowed like that, when the tone of his voice is simultaneously gentle and cajoling and completely intolerant of argument. The traveler doesn't hang his head — not intentionally — but that's how he winds up, back pressed to the pillows and neck bent over his shoulders as he takes deep breaths to steady himself.]
...didn't want you to have to see me like this...
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He counts things out on theoretical fingers: Aether is sick, with something that's making him feverish and fairly out of it. He's exhausted. He's hungry, even if his body isn't letting him know. He's vulnerable, which Kaeya has to admit would also put him in a terrible mood. Any one of those is enough to make a hard day harder, and all of them stacked onto Aether's proverbial plate...
Kaeya lets out the breath he was holding. It isn't a sigh, because he's considered that might tip Aether into shattering range.]
Well. I'm here now. [He hopes that's reassuring. Plenty of his colleagues might disagree. Alone, Kaeya can't do much about any of the sources of Aether's suffering, but if he can get cooperation out of him, there's a chance. His hand covers Aether's, folding carefully over his frustrated grip on the sheets.] You've had a rough few days.
[Truth be told, he's a little impressed to find Aether...resting. It wouldn't have surprised him at all to find the traveler pushing harder through it than he is already. He runs his thumb over the back of Aether's hand.]
Suffering's usually better with company. Depending on the company, of course. But at least I can take over cutting up sunsettias. Which isn't Paimon's fault. [He turns his eye on the fairy with, for now, more affection that suspicion, and wags a finger at her.] So don't you start.
[This will go downhill very fast if he and Paimon can't manage some getting along until Aether's in a state to mediate.
Kaeya releases another long breath and carefully lifts Aether's chin.]
Are you in pain, Aether? [With luck, a direct question while looking him in the eye will get a lucid response.]
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(Madness, he'd thought of it afterward. He can't go around doing things like that. He can't —)
And yet, somehow, looking into Kaeya's blue eye, Aether recalls a memory long forgotten: The male half of the human genome project... irregular heartbeat... It's utterly inexplicable. Further testing... warrants additional consideration...
He was just scared. He wishes he could say that now. That he was just scared. But it doesn't matter now. Those people are as good as dead and gone.]
...I'm fine. It doesn't hurt. I'm tired... and sore all over, but that's not the same as pain.
[He's the kind of sick he can feel all the way down to his bones, as if the illness has permeated every fiber, every cord of his muscles, poisoning his blood. But that's fine, isn't it? He can deal with poison. Should be able to purify it, like the corruption that was driving Dvalin mad. The hero of our tale, Venti always says, and sometimes Aether dares to hold that to his heart. A hero, though he doesn't deserve to be one.
Paimon watches the two of them with a frown on her face, pushing her fingers together in hapless consideration. "Okay then... Paimon will go make some tea," the fairy says a little glumly, though with a bit more forced cheer than before given Kaeya's gentle chastisement of her earlier panicking. She flits out of the room.
In response, Aether lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Then he closes his eyes, and sinks into Kaeya's touch.]
...You'll stay? [His voice is quiet. He wishes it didn't sound so hopeful.] And watch me suffer?
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He wishes it didn't sting.
He supposes he has given the traveler reason to be cautious. Just the same as he does everyone else.
The admission of soreness but no serious pain gets acknowledged with a hum, and Kaeya gently lets go of Aether's chin.]
I'll stay. [He permits himself a smile that is neither guarded nor falsely cheerful.] And try to minimize the suffering, though you'll wind up sick of me instead. I'll probably be dodging Paimon's fruit knife before dawn.
[Though he is, as of a few minutes ago, absolutely and without a doubt shirking his job to sit here. He'll have to get a message over to headquarters. If he asks nicely, maybe Paimon will indulge him. The Knights won't worry until then; he feels the ghost of a shrug in his thoughts at the idea that they might. Those things aren't Aether's concern, however, and Kaeya decides to ignore them until he has the time.]
If you're any worse in the morning, I will go to the church for help. [His Vision doesn't grant him anything useful in that regard. Also, he thinks that was a clever way to bring home the point that he really does mean to stay, on top of making it clear that he won't be swayed on this point. It would be a lie to say he's never enjoyed watching someone suffer...but this is different.]
You said you're tired. How about trying to sleep?
[The pillows propping him up aren't at a high enough angle to make a nap too uncomfortable, in Kaeya's estimation, but he isn't the one who has to use them. He realizes he's rubbing his thumb over Aether's hand again and his eye widens a bit, but he doesn't stop.]
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It'll be boring for you if I fall asleep. [Despite saying this, Aether closes his eyes, sighing deeply.] Can't let Captain Kaeya get bored with me.
[Or else... or else what? Aether gropes for the consequences but can't find them. It feels important, though. Because if Kaeya's bored, then... then he might leave, and...
The next words out of Aether's mouth are intended to push all of that aside.]
I... don't like to visit doctors and physicians.
[Well. That's not an altogether uncommon sentiment, and it explains much. Surely Kaeya can guess at some of the usual reasons someone might say such a thing: that he doesn't like being vulnerable or weak; that he doesn't trust others to cure his ailments; that he doesn't want to be touched. All of those would make perfect sense for the kind of person that the traveler seems to be.
Perhaps it's perplexing, then, when Aether follows this statement with:]
...I hate it when I have to leave.
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[The smile is reassuring, although Kaeya isn't all that sure he was, ultimately, joking. Paimon doesn't have a history of believing in his best intentions.
Aether's objection to medical care starts out sounding like it might make some kind of sense. Even though the church works closely with the knights and they only lecture a little, in the usual ways, about injuries left untended or people getting too sick to work and pushing through it, it can be a hassle and will always feel like an invasion of privacy-
Or that. It's one Kaeya hasn't heard before.]
Is that so? [It's his usual response to information that catches him off guard. Natural enough to sound convincing, neutral enough not to give away whether his surprise has tripped good or bad intrigue or the information has given away more than it should through simple existence. Give people a little rope and they tend to unwind the whole coil, and all.
Let's ignore that they then craft their own nooses, for now.
Aether does seem a little more relaxed, though - the hand underneath Kaeya's isn't clinging quite so hard to the sheets - so he lets go and leans back, adjusting how he sits so his back doesn't start complaining.]
That isn't something you hear every day. [Not something he'll forget, either, but...Aether is sick. Pressing him for information might be easier, but might also feel worse. He'll give him the chance to elaborate on his own, with the right sort of prompting. Already, potential explanations are working their way into the depths of Kaeya's thoughts.
He tugs at the sheets and blanket, carefully, and tucks them around Aether just a little better.]
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[It's a shame that he's sitting up. For no particular reason at all, except maybe an unreasonable desire to run, Aether is seized by the sudden and inexplicable urge to dive into the sheets and burrow until only his head is sticking out. As things currently stand, though, he has little choice but to accept being tucked into bed as graciously as he can. Which is to say he blinks at Kaeya and lolls against his pillow, sighing faintly.
Kaeya has said nothing of value, implicitly digging, or else offering up his neutrality as a field for Aether to dig in, but that's fine. In another mood, less vulnerable perhaps, the traveler would sew himself shut and move on. In this moment, feverish and hazy and thinking of the past, he wants to talk. It's rare for someone to listen.]
It's just the sensation of... of having someone care, and being their sole focus... until it's time to go, and then it's only clinical in the end.
[The traveler smiles weakly, wryly. If nothing else, at least, Aether seems to know very well what he's saying. If he's crafting his own noose, he's done it with care and intention.]
You'd think I would learn, but...
[...But that blue-eyed boy always made it seem like he cared —
Why did that come into his mind so suddenly? A thought he's had before, perhaps; the verse to a song he's lost forgotten. Who was that man with the cold hands and the warm smile? Aether looks frustrated, for a moment, and then lets it all go — the memories and the bitterness both. Kaeya's hand was warm against his own.]
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[It seems he might be headed in that direction, but then, Aether often says things from a place of differing logic. They usually make sense, which is the more impressive component, but they take paths and angles the cavalry captain hadn't even breathed factoring in.
Kaeya, as it happens, breathes out. There's still a fair amount of heat coming off of Aether. Is that so surprising? All he's done is drink some water and get settled in bed in a way that might keep him from coughing. At least he hasn't kept that up.]
Paimon went to make you tea. [Since Aether's hands are under the covers, now, Kaeya can't reach for either of them; he puts a hand on the traveler's head instead, not checking for the obvious fever again but a bit higher, so his thumb can brush carefully along his hairline.] If you fall asleep before she comes back, I'll make your excuses.
[Paimon will understand. The irony here is that, even with rest, it might be true that Aether feels worse before he feels better. Depends on what he's sick with. Offhand, Kaeya can think of three separate things that have made him feverish and given him a cough, and he thinks just lying around doing nothing is the right answer for all of them.]
At some point I'll go and get us all some food. So don't worry too much if I am gone for a while. I'll come back. [Kaeya flashes his best disobedient grin.] But if someone doesn't feed Paimon she might eat you instead.
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Paimon won't eat me! She's my emergency food supply.
[A sufficiently determined Paimon might, in fact, be able to finish one whole Aether over the course of a few meals, but... It doesn't bear thinking about. Ironically, now that his hands are under the covers, Aether doesn't know what to do with them either. His fingers curl indistinctly in his sheets, twisting the fabric between his knuckles; his eyelids lower when Kaeya's thumb brushes along his scalp. He thinks he would purr, if he were a cat. Mercifully, he's not quite that far gone yet.]
But you're right... She needs to eat. I'm sorry. I should've thought of that.
[Before being holed up in bed with a fever for a few days? Sure, Aether. But he doesn't say that he'll worry if he wakes up and finds Kaeya missing, so that's some comfort, at least. Maybe he doesn't even expect Kaeya to stay, despite promises made.
There's a clatter from the kitchen that suggests Paimon is having A Time, but... maybe she's fine... She's probably fine. Right? Aether laughs, not unkindly.]
...She's so hardworking. When she wants to be, anyway.
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Kaeya lets that thought drift lazily around the periphery; if he hears any shouting he'll be quicker to investigate.]
Don't tell her I told you, but I'm pretty sure she's worried about you.
[His thumb draws the border between Aether's hair and forehead a few more times. There is a school of thought that those with Cryo visions and precise enough control can make themselves cool to the touch without hurting themselves or any other people they come in contact with. Kaeya snorts at nothing and shakes his head gently; he probably feels cool to Aether with or without assistance.
Another second and his hand lifts, only to replace itself in combing back all the stray wisps from Aether's forehead, in small motions over and over. And where has this come from? Some years-gone memory of Kaeya's instead?
That can drift around with the image of Paimon using a human tea set to make tea. When Kaeya speaks again, it's just above a whisper, deliberately more soothing than chiding.]
It isn't just Paimon who needs to eat, you know. But I think sleep would suit you better right now. [Idly, he watches for whether Aether's eyes focus on anything. If it seems like he's any more uncomfortable than being this sick already causes.] Are you fighting to stay awake because you think we'll cause too much trouble without you?
[That's presuming a lot, but he's grinning such that his eye is almost closed, a guarantee that every bit of it is simply a tease.
It fades after a few moments, and the hand that isn't tied up in Aether's hair curls into a loose fist.]
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It doesn't bear thinking about. Aether does think too long about Kaeya's wonderfully cool touch brushing over his forehead, though; it feels good, good in an unfamiliar way. Painfully intimate. Caring in a way that no one has ever been to him save for Lumine. It makes Aether think of things he's not supposed to have, like parents (though he had Lumine), and a home (though he had Lumine), and the father who never quite thought of him as anything more than a project. The ark to carry us into a new age. Aether, you...
And it's strange. He never thought that Kaeya could be this gentle, this patient. But then, looking sleepily up into the knowing twinkle of Kaeya's blue eye, Aether wonders how he ever doubted the man at all. Wonders if anyone in Teyvat would be as patient as Kaeya Alberich, who knows nothing about the traveler, and still chooses to sit here like he knows everything.
Aether's honey-gold eyes lid just slightly as his lips form words he didn't quite think about before he's said them.]
...I'm trying to stay awake because I like being with you too much to fall asleep.
[His eyelids have started to droop, though — more than they would if he were simply weary. He's clearly trying to resist the siren song of slumber, at this point. His lashes brush his cheeks as his eyelids finally close...]
And I have a big forehead...
[...Where did that bit come from? Uh... best not to linger on it. What Aether means is that he doesn't particularly appreciate Kaeya combing his hair away from his face as he has, because it's revealing the traveler's apparently objectionable forehead... but whether or not that actually comes through in what he's saying is best left unanswered. Too late to worry about vanity now.
Aether's mind lingers on the laboratory, all those years ago, the one he's certain that Lumine forgot two or three or a thousand worlds ago. The way the temperature in the room would dip, as if the air itself would freeze with that man's steps. Hello, Aether, that blue-eyed man would say. And he wasn't special, he knew that, he knew that he was just a project, but still, still, didn't it mean something, shouldn't it have meant something, that he always visited Aether and never Lumine — ?]
...Kaeya, could you...
[Did you take your medicine today?]
...make the room a little cooler?
[It won't matter whether or not Kaeya chooses to honor the request. It's the last thing Aether says before he closes his eyes and finally drifts off to sleep.]
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You know, you're the first person to ask for that in a long time. [He's aware Aether isn't listening. If he were, no words at all would have been more likely.] It's convenient, on warm days. But I'm a fan of warmer weather overall, myself.
[Kaeya doesn't know why he's talking.]
Who would have thought the Honorary Knight thinks about the size of his forehead? [This is a whisper, one he punctuates with one last brush of his fingertips across said forehead, and another gentle chuckle.] I'm going to check on Paimon. I'll be back.
[He finds the fairy in the kitchen, flitting and fretting around the handle side of a tea kettle just as it begins to whistle over the stove. Paimon whines a little and jumps at Kaeya's hello, all pout and bother when she glares his way.
"Paimon was coming!" Though Kaeya hasn't said a word about how long the process takes. "Filling that thing with water just took some time..."
There is, Kaeya notes, water all over the counter and edging its way across the floor. A tipped glass rests in the middle of the countertop puddle. If there was some on the stove, it has long since boiled off; he shakes his head and steps over to pull the kettle from its burner.]
Do you think you could do me a favor, Paimon? [He holds up a hand as she puts her hands on her hips in a stunning imitation of Amber at her worst.] Aether's asleep. I told him I'd stay for a while, but Jean isn't going to be very happy if I just disappear today with no warning. Could you drop a letter off at headquarters for me?
[Paimon makes it known that she thinks tracking down Jean is harder than finding Kaeya some days; she's not too pleased with the eventual truth, either, which is that Lisa can receive the note but he's also writing a take-out order for Good Hunter, so she'll have to go there, too. It takes him only a little work to root out a pen and paper from the drawers, and he's as precise as he can be in his messages without giving too much away.]
This food is for you too, you know. I'll even mop up this mess you've made. [Kaeya grins at Paimon's attempt to stomp her foot midair. He affects an overly sweet voice just for her.] Get going, now, before the Acting Grand Master decides to send a search party for me.
[Jean would never. The very thought of it keeps Kaeya in soft laughter through Paimon's entire departure.
Aether won't be needing that tea anymore. The cavalry captain avails himself of a cup instead, drinking it while he deals with all the spilled water, wishing it was wine instead of tea. Should have asked Paimon to pick some of that up, too. But then he'd have Diluc or someone working for Diluc in his business, and whether or not Aether would be okay with that, Kaeya detests the very idea. So he won't. He'll just have to get his drink some other way...
He takes his second cup of tea back to Aether's bedroom. To wait. There's a chair to sit in, instead of crowding onto the bed of a sleeping sick person while carrying hot drinks, and the room retains some of its cooler air. Kaeya sits back, one leg crossed over the other, and thinks about a dozen things in the silence.]
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The dream is nonsensical, which is a good thing — at least it's not the recurring dream about the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, or the other one, the equally recurring nightmare where he sinks deeper and deeper into the darkness while Lumine turns and walks away. One moment, Paimon is holding his hand and leading him down a sandy shore; in the next instant, the beach beneath his feet has given way, and he's falling into a massive whirlpool, can't quite hold his head above water. But a whale that looks suspiciously like Childe pushes him out of the ocean deep with the water from his blowhole, and then Klee is throwing bombs at Osial, fearlessly trying to blast the biggest fish she's ever seen. Jean seems amused. Diluc is serving her tea, for some reason. There's a cat with a mask that reminds Aether of Dainsleif.
At a table, beneath the shade of some palm trees, Kaeya is nursing a glass of Death After Noon, sitting across from a man with silver hair and blue eyes, a man whose name Aether no longer remembers though he knows the man's face.
"You seem to be doing well," the blue-eyed man says. "We never said that you couldn't be happy, Inheritor."
He wakes then and the dream fades, like a bubble of seafoam burst back into the sea, though Aether feels dazed, as though he's spent too long rocking on the ocean shores. He doesn't sit up. Some supernatural sense for his fairy companion tells him that Paimon is no longer in the house, though why and for what reason, he doesn't question.
Blindly, Aether reaches out with one hand, fingers bent and searching for something to anchor him to this world and no other.]
...Kaeya...?
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When Aether says his name, Kaeya gets up soundlessly, settling with ease into his old seat on the edge of the mattress and folding his hand around the one searching the air for something. He might not even be awake right now. He's giving off some warmth still (and what did Kaeya expect? That the fever would fade after a little nap?) and he doesn't sound very coherent, for all he said just the one word.]
Aether. [Even his whisper is more air than sound.] You talk a little in your sleep. Did you know that?
[Kaeya learned nothing of substance, or nothing of any intelligible substance, from Aether's mumblings and fragments of words. He isn't trying to make the traveler worry. It is sort of...endearing. An affliction Kaeya hopes they do not share, nevertheless.]
I sent Paimon on a mission. I can re-heat the water for tea, if you'd like.
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I didn't know that. What do I talk about?
[Aether doesn't wait for the answer, though of course Kaeya is welcome to answer him in good time if he wants to. Some small part of him wants to roll over and go back to sleep until the fever passes; another part of him, more selfish perhaps — the secretly lonely boy that has been inconsolable since Lumine's departure — seeks Kaeya's attention and validation. He manages to sit up, propping himself on his pillows as he looks somewhat dreamily at the Cavalry Captain.]
Tea is okay... if it's the sleepy kind. I don't want to wake up just yet...
[Slightly nonsensical, but all he really means is that he doesn't want anything that will make him feel too alert...]
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[But he chuckles before and after. Aether's half-lidded eyes betray him more than any words might.
The chill of the room lingers, though Kaeya's Vision ceased glowing long ago. Thus the warmth of Aether's hand in his stands out all the more; Kaeya traces his own thumb across the back of it before bringing his other hand over, too.]
Nothing I have to offer you would help you fall asleep again. Probably not even the tea.
[Whatever the variety. The topic of tea blend never came up between him and Paimon. Kaeya pictures and discards a half-dozen alternatives for filling boredom. Aether is ill, after all.]
You didn't say anything I could understand easily, if you're worried about your secrets getting out.
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[Now, if Aether weren't quite so sleepy, quite so dazed, he'd remember that Kaeya, of all people, shouldn't learn of the things that Aether knows. But he's just woken up, and Kaeya's hands feel so good against his — so smooth and cool and strong and solid — that all his defenses have slipped his waking mind. The traveler's grip is weak, but hungry for attention; he squeezes one of Kaeya's hands like precious treasure, and doesn't seem willing to let go.]
Wouldn't know what to do with them... you'd just keep them with yours in your desk drawer...
[He chuckles, low and dark in a way that his real voice never is, though it's pleasant and soothing, even now.]
Maybe they'd be happy like that, though...
[...The secrets? Or something else?]
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The only secrets I keep in the desk drawer are the ones that wouldn't be disastrous to discover. I appreciate the effort, though. [For no reason at all, Kaeya tucks some of Aether's hair off of his face.] How are y-
Paimon's back! [she yells as she appears beside Kaeya's left ear, instantly clapping both hands over her mouth when she sees very sleepy Aether there in bed. A muffled oh no sorry! comes from behind her hands before she shakes her whole self once (Kaeya has the oddest sense this comes with a sound somewhere under all other sounds. A chime?) and resumes a more normal volume.
For Paimon.]
Back from Good Hunter! And all those other places, too! But you should go to the door because Sara was really nice and brought the food straight here!
[Kaeya, staring in renewed awe at Paimon's ability to put such enthusiasm into mundane news, gets up the moment he hears someone is at the door. Sara probably recognized his writing, and his order, and while she's one of the best, she's as much of a gossip as any other Mondstadt citizen and so this is going to get reasonably far.
Never mind that "all those other places" implies Paimon went to more than just headquarters. They can deal with that later. He looks over his shoulder at the doorway and Paimon is (gently, he'll admit) trying to rouse Aether so he can eat, too.
On his way (still rubbing his ear, irritated at the volume and that she could surprise him so easily) he realizes the excitement is probably because it's food. There seems to be nothing more important to Paimon in all the world than a good meal.
He pays Sara for the meal and delivery, with genuine thanks and a nonchalance practiced to perfection. You know how it is - Diluc refuses to add food to his menu, so if you want anything to eat with your wine... At least it's good for her business, right?
When he makes it back to Aether and Paimon at last, he's dealt with the food in the kitchen and is carrying two trays. He sets one down on the side table near his former chair. The plate clearly displays an order of sticky honey roast and a couple slices of fisherman's toast.]
That's for you, Paimon. Thanks for taking care of all that running around.
[The second, now balanced in both hands, bears a bowl of hot soup for Aether; a light broth with chicken and soft vegetables is arguably the perfect thing for someone in the traveler's condition provided he can manage to eat it.]
I hope you've given up on the idea that you'll get to stay asleep.
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Upon the Cavalry Captain's re-entry with delicious soup in hand, the traveler breaks into a warm smile, soft and inviting as daybreak.]
I can trade sleep for soup from Good Hunter.
[Now, he's not all there... he's still sick and feverish, so the smile he's fixing Kaeya with is just slightly vacant, but it's also wholly sincere and unguarded in a way that the traveler rarely is.
And instead of reaching out to accept the tray as he normally might, the traveler simply opens his mouth and...]
Aaaa~aah. ♫
[Evidently, the traveler would like to be fed...
Paimon puts her hands on her hips and looks — well, it's hard to tell if her expression is intended to be smug or unimpessed, but it's along those lines. Those hands don't stay on her tiny hips for long, though — not when she's got a plate full of fisherman's toast to dig into. "Since when does being sick give you an excuse to be a big baby?" the fairy asks while picking up a slice of toast with both hands.]
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Is that how it's going to be?
[Amusement stays firm in the set of Kaeya's eye and smile. He picks up the spoon.]
I hope you're not too weak to feed yourself, Aether.
[The request to be babied is...probably a good sign. Aether's not so far gone that he can't be silly. He'll accept that he just doesn't want to spill the soup all over his bedclothes. Since they're rented. (He really shouldn't have thought he had to rent some privacy, but they can deal with that another time.)
The cavalry captain sighs with great exaggeration, but the spoon doesn't waver on its path through the air. Has Kaeya also done this before? He has just the right amount for a bite and he's careful not to choke Aether with it either.]
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He chews. He swallows. He lingers, as if through the hazy remembrance of a dream, on the way Kaeya's fingers brushed some of his hair out of his face, and quietly, he thinks to himself that he would do almost anything to feel like that again: safe and warm and content and cared for, with nothing to worry about save what horrors his sister has seen to make her turn him away.]
Mmhmm. ♪
[Not that Kaeya needs to find out. Not that Kaeya needs to be told. It's a thought that Aether is content to keep to himself — the fact that he wants to be petted — the same way he's never told Lumine about the recurring dreams he's had where the man in blue looks at him with a fatherly air, despite the fact that he's quite sure that man never looked at him as more than an object outside of his dreams.]
I just wanted to see if you would do it. [He smiles, then reaches his arms out to accept the bowl himself. Apparently just one spoonfeeding will suffice; he's not that far gone just yet.] You're sweeter than you look, Kaeya.
[The effect of this statement is only somewhat marred by the expression Paimon is making right about now, which can only be encapsulated thusly:
🤢 ]
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Ah-ah-ah, Aether. [He looked so damned contented eating the soup, too. Like he'd made the winning move in a private game. Now, it's a game that two can play, and Kaeya's voice is thick and honey-sweet.] You can't expect me to believe that just one bite was enough to give you your strength back.
[He winks - exaggerated, as always, so the other person can tell he means it and isn't just blinking - and turns his head to catch sight of Paimon's utter disgust.]
Of course, I won't be able to get much else done this way, so I'll have to let Paimon handle the rest of the bites. I'm sure she won't mind at all.
[Even if Aether makes a grab for the soup bowl, Kaeya's got it just too far away for him to get at safely. Unless he wants a lap full of hot soup.
The unfortunate truth, the one the cavalry captain can't afford to let out into the world, is that he can't really bring himself to bully sick people. Except maybe Diluc, but even that's a stretch. So after a few more moments of teasing, Kaeya affects a sigh and hands over the bowl and spoon anyway.]
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For his part, Aether only laughs, good-natured, as he accepts the bowl and spoon from Kaeya.]
That's right. The only time you'll feed me is when I truss you up and roast you over an open flame, Paimon.
[This only makes the poor, delicious-looking floating fairy even more angry; she has to puff up before she deflates, heaving a deep sigh that suggests she is trying to regain control over the situation by pretending to let it go. "Feh! Paimon's too old for this," the impossibly babyfaced creature grumbles, affecting the air of a wizened old man. "You two can find Paimon after you're done flirting. Paimon will be outside!"
So saying, she floats out of the room balancing her fisherman's toast with both hands, leaving the both of them to... flirt.
Aether's smile falters only slightly as he looks at Kaeya, but not in a bad way; he has to bite his lip to hide the fact that he's trying not to smile even more broadly than he already is, but a practiced people-pleaser like Kaeya will spot the tell for what it is immediately. It's impossible to hide things like that in front of Kaeya, but Aether will try anyway. Hiding things is all he has left.]
...You've got a lot of nerve winking with an eyepatch on, you know.
[Seems better than acknowledging Paimon's remark about flirting.]
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So I see you recognized I was winking. And it seems Paimon wasn't too far off the mark.
[The thrill of Aether's poor attempt to hide his opinion on whether or not they're flirting makes itself known in the way Kaeya waves his hand through the air, sitting on the bed again instead of in the chair he used before.]
You've got even more nerve, trying to trick me into thinking you were too sick to feed yourself. I knew I was playing along, of course. [Which is exactly what a liar would say. Good thing Kaeya fits the bill.] You're lucky I'm not the type to...take advantage.
[Of what? That's up to the traveler to decide. Kaeya is smirking, leaning back with nothing behind him in some sort of balance display.]
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Take advantage of what? [A little huff.] The fact that I'd let you put things in my mouth? Don't have to be sick for me to — do that —
[A little bit of a coughing fit seizes him. He wheezes; the soup, at least, remains unspilled.]
...Flirting, [he manages thickly,] may have to wait until I'm better.
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[While the cough maybe should be cause for concern, Aether was coughing when Kaeya got here and it doesn't really sound any worse? It could well be an attempt to beg himself some attention again.
Careful of the soup, Kaeya slides closer.]
I won't worry too much about it, and neither should you.
[Sometimes, it's a predator's toothy smile there below his eyes. This predator is prepared to toy with its meal, and will enjoy it very much.]
Besides, [he leans in, slowly, until his lips are just shy of Aether's ear. His breath might tickle as he continues in a whisper,] I can think of other things to do with our time.
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[Aether's voice comes out a little raspy and tired, after that coughing fit; even so, he hasn't forgotten that he's in the lion's den, being batted about between its claws. (The peacock's nest? Its talons? The metaphor is falling apart in Aether's head, much like his inhibitions and his good sense.)
Still, the traveler leans against Kaeya's body, nestling comfortably against his ribs while he goes on carefully spooning soup out of the bowl. He'd be a lot more flustered about the other things Kaeya is promising if not for the fact that he realizes they're not going to do anything like that while he's sick.
...Or. Will they. His confidence bursts like a bubble on a needle once he remembers that Kaeya is not the sort of man to let things like safety and risk stop him once he's thrown all caution to the wind. Regardless, the traveler will feign defiance, "calling Kaeya's bluff," though there's a pinkish tint to his ears that has come to the surface due to the gentle tickle of Kaeya's breathy voice in his ear.]
Surprise me.
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[There's no way to whisper this with dubious intent but he does try. Then he shifts even further, pulling away only long enough to situate himself fully behind Aether. Let the traveler lean into his chest as much as he likes.
If it takes him time, if he plays at not wanting it, all the more interesting for Kaeya.
He suspects Aether is too sick and tired to fight for long. The fingertips he lets trail up the back of Aether's neck suggest idle thought, but behind them Kaeya is all alertness and wary watch. What response will he get?]
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This is all so comforting. He's sick and he's tired and he's weary down to his bones. He's never felt worse and he's never felt better, all at the same time.
At length, he scrapes the last bit of soup out of his bowl; his spoon clatters a little against the porcelain as he sets it aside, but he's gentle as he does it, and it's a good sign, really, if he's regained enough strength to sit up properly and reach over to the bedside drawer. Kaeya might need to steady his hand a little, but he manages it, all the same. Sighing, flopping back from the exertion, Aether closes his eyes and lets himself lean into Kaeya's firm body behind his.]
I finished my soup, sir. [Oh. He sort of regrets that sir as soon as he's said it. It was supposed to sound sarcastic and he didn't quite hit it. Oops.] What now?
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Now? [The not-quite-laugh he throws in is a little reminiscent of a bard he knows who's always drunk.] Now, with Paimon out of the way, I get to do whatever I'd like.
[He leans in, whispering it into Aether's ear as he goes. A little bit of a shift and his hands settle on the traveler's shoulders, thumbs rubbing matching circles into the space just below the base of his neck.]
Unless you have any...complaints?
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...Oh. Oh — [a little sigh, and then surrender] — mmm.
[A real cat might fight back for dominance, but is it such a bad thing, to submit and be groomed? Sighing quietly as the pain of working out his knotted muscles gives way to more relaxation, Aether lets his guard drop further, his mind sinking into the pleasant texture of Kaeya's gentle, half-whispered voice.]
No... no complaints at all. [Kaeya's voice and the sound of it doing Venti's ehe. He could almost laugh.] Think I've been in bed for too long. That feels really good...
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His thumbs move slowly from the base of Aether's neck, out to his shoulders, down across shoulderblades caught up in the wrong sort of tension for a man who wields a sword. If this is an illness Kaeya can catch, he's well and truly in for it now. That's too bad.]
What were you going to do instead of stay in bed, I wonder? Honorary Knight practice drills?
[He can't remove all the mockery from his tone. He can wrap it in real and affectionate amusement. This is a little stronger than a cold, and a fever-dizzy Aether wouldn't have gotten very far into a practice regimen without being sent to bed and fussed over.
An answer isn't expected. Kaeya rests his chin against Aether's head while his hands keep working and he hums the pieces of some aimless tune.]
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I would've... I would have... Ngh.
[He musters some attempt at a bristle, a little hiss, but he comes up with nothing. The weight of Kaeya's chin feels strangely comforting on his head. If he is sick with something then it appears to be something that Kaeya can cure, and Aether lets himself sink into it, fall into the comforting embrace of a lazy contentedness that hovers between slumber and the waking realm. Kaeya's thumbs work out a stubborn knot of tension between his shoulders, one that has persisted despite (or perhaps because of?) his many long hours of sleep, and Aether sighs, melts into boneless jelly. An Aether-Slime. Someone should inform the Sumeru Academia of this great discovery.]
...You put a bunch of cotton fluff in my head.
[Faintly accusatory, and a little childish. But happy, certainly, and isn't that a little dopey smile tugging at the corners of his lips?]
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He breathes laughter into the crown of Aether's head.]
I'm afraid that must have already been there.
[Is he saying the traveler's mind is full of fluff??]
If I spread it around a little, though, can you blame me? [You're sweet when you're like this. Fortunately he keeps his lips closed around that one, hmmming with amusement instead. And some mockery. It's Kaeya, there's always some condescension waiting in the wings.]
And you haven't even been drinking. Pity that can't be arranged.
[If that didn't all make sense together...maybe Aether's too sick to realize Kaeya's just saying things as they come to mind? He's far from the best choice to take care of anyone but he's sure sleep will be better than fighting sleep, so no matter what he says, he keeps his voice down. This may have the added benefit of not summoning Paimon back into the room.]
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And as his eyes droop a little, he's still worried that his forehead is too big.
Kaeya laughs. This close, it makes his warm breath fan out over Aether's sensitive scalp, and the traveler is just conscious, just awake enough to think that it feels like a kiss.
So. Well. There's a lot of things going on in his head, you know? So maybe the contented sigh that escapes his throat comes out a little too high-pitched, like a pleased moan. Aether shifts his weight a little, and he's heavier than before. Sinking, maybe, into the dreamlike pleasure of more sleep on a sick brain — or else just trying petulantly to make things a little more difficult for Kaeya right now, but if that's the case, it's not really working. The traveler's not particularly heavy even when his body's gone slack.]
You... nngh. If you want to go drinking...
[Another pleased, contented sigh. He's very sweet when he's like this, like a pliant kitten that's fighting off sleep because it wants to play. Still, this is a battle that he's clearly losing. Kaeya's hands and voice and warm solid presence are all winning.]
We can do it later... when I feel better.
[He's not talking anymore about how it has to get worse before it gets better, so maybe that's some improvement.]
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[Not with lectures and sorrowful looks for Kaeya specifically. It wouldn't be the first time, but it rankles nevertheless. For all her apparent disappointment, Jean will never lose faith in him.
Since this is what he wants, and somehow also wrong, but definitely in line with the truth, it always leaves him a little unmoored.
Kaeya sighs, carefully constructed, and lapses into silence. Continuing to make conversation with the traveler will only keep him awake, and he should be asleep. Maybe, when he's well, they can come back to the thought of how easily he's taken-advantage-of in this state after all. Or did he only let it happen because it's Kaeya, and they understand exactly how much not to trust one another?
(Exactly how much to trust one another?)
That one, he won't permit himself to ask.]
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There's nothing to worry about right now. There's just Kaeya, and the warm room, and his too-relaxed muscles, and the sound of the Cavalry Captain's voice, soft and breathy and so, so distant.
Aether lets his eyelids droop. Then lets them close altogether, and lolls his head against Kaeya's shoulder.
There's one last thing he thinks he wants to do before he lets himself slip off towards dreams unknown. He tips his head up, just barely. Finds Kaeya's jaw too far to reach, so he turns his head to the side instead.
Kisses Kaeya on the neck — and then settles onto his side, sitting up, and doesn't move.
So that's it, then — is that where trust begins and ends? At the edge of a dream, the feather-light touch of a kiss?]
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Waiting for...?
Maybe for the safety of a deep enough sleep to put Aether down, cover him and go. Maybe for Paimon to come in and find them in this compromising position, shriek about it, and start the whole process over again. Maybe for Aether to sit up and deny the moment, claim it was just his fever talking, and fold himself away, onto the sheets instead of Kaeya.
None of those things happen.
When they keep not happening, in the dark and quiet, only Aether's deep breathing for company, Kaeya relaxes at last - for now, for however long the moment can go without breaking - and thinks about waiting, instead, for morning, at the edge of a dream.]