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141 » so i tell myself when i sleep at night
[The first time they'd slept together — Aether thinks to himself that that was a mistake. He tells himself that it was a mistake, even though he can't actually remember saying yes (and if he didn't say yes, then was it really a choice he made?). He only remembers that he woke up from a dirty dream to find that it was all half real. They'd gone out adventuring together, just to take care of some commissions; then Childe was on top of him, hard already and working him towards hardness too. You came on to me, comrade, Childe had claimed, and how was Aether to know if that had or hadn't happened in his sleep? What was he supposed to do but give in?
It wasn't as though it wasn't good — he remembers coming several times, remembers that his eyelids fluttered shut while Childe was rutting inside of him and the Harbinger's cock stole every gasping breath from his lungs — but he'd ached for days afterward, and every time his hips hurt from exertion he'd been reminded of all of it again, and he wasn't sure if he felt sick with regret or arousal. He thinks he should have tried harder to say no, but it's not as though he didn't want to do it with Childe. He's always thought Childe was handsome. It's just. It's just... Not like that. Or maybe — maybe it was fine? Maybe it was fine.
He hasn't told anyone. Not Zhongli, not Paimon, not Ningguang, not any number of other people who might hold some sway over Childe in Liyue Harbor. He's been avoiding Childe, too; he hasn't asked the Harbinger to help with any commissions since then. He can't guarantee that the night won't end with Childe on top of him again, breathing in his ear about how tight he is, how good, you're being so good, comrade, come on, squeeze tight for me, there's a good boy.
(Why did he feel so used and dirty afterward? Why did he feel so disgusted with himself?)
But — there's only so long that the hunted can avoid a hunter, and in due time, Childe comes to find Aether behind the base of the building that houses the Northland Bank in its walls. The traveler tried to make an excuse to get away, but he's been pinned to the wall; he knows full well that he can't get away, so he averts his eyes, making excuses for why he hasn't been available since the night they shared together.]
Childe, I...
[The worst part is the way Childe's simple touch makes his cock throb in his pants.]
I've just been busy. [The lie tastes sour in his mouth.] I promise.
It wasn't as though it wasn't good — he remembers coming several times, remembers that his eyelids fluttered shut while Childe was rutting inside of him and the Harbinger's cock stole every gasping breath from his lungs — but he'd ached for days afterward, and every time his hips hurt from exertion he'd been reminded of all of it again, and he wasn't sure if he felt sick with regret or arousal. He thinks he should have tried harder to say no, but it's not as though he didn't want to do it with Childe. He's always thought Childe was handsome. It's just. It's just... Not like that. Or maybe — maybe it was fine? Maybe it was fine.
He hasn't told anyone. Not Zhongli, not Paimon, not Ningguang, not any number of other people who might hold some sway over Childe in Liyue Harbor. He's been avoiding Childe, too; he hasn't asked the Harbinger to help with any commissions since then. He can't guarantee that the night won't end with Childe on top of him again, breathing in his ear about how tight he is, how good, you're being so good, comrade, come on, squeeze tight for me, there's a good boy.
(Why did he feel so used and dirty afterward? Why did he feel so disgusted with himself?)
But — there's only so long that the hunted can avoid a hunter, and in due time, Childe comes to find Aether behind the base of the building that houses the Northland Bank in its walls. The traveler tried to make an excuse to get away, but he's been pinned to the wall; he knows full well that he can't get away, so he averts his eyes, making excuses for why he hasn't been available since the night they shared together.]
Childe, I...
[The worst part is the way Childe's simple touch makes his cock throb in his pants.]
I've just been busy. [The lie tastes sour in his mouth.] I promise.